[Question #3508] Safe Sex with Commercial Sex Workers
87 months ago
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First, thank you so much for the valuable work you do here on this website. It is much appreciated.
Have decided to visit a local Asian Massage Parlor as they provide “full service” but want to be fully informed. Had STD/HIV testing 3 months ago ago and all clean. My goal is to not engage in any sexual activity with a commercial sex worker that will create a material (defined as greater than 1%) risk of catching any STDs (“Goal”). Further, I do not want to engage in behavior, which you would suggest requires that I get regularly tested as that would also create lots of anxiety issues for me..
My question is can you comment on each below activity and my current risk assessment and let me know if I am accurately assessing risk and whether I’m in agreement with my Goal?
1. Receive hand job: no risk of catching anything. Goal compliant
2. Receive blow job using condom: very low risk (less than 1%) of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
3. Allow provider to lick/kiss my testicles (not including shaft or top of penis) and anus area (with no barrier): very low risk of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
4. Deep kiss (exchange saliva): am concerned there is excessive risk of catching Herpes but “low or no risk” of catching any other STD. Also, there is risk of catching gonorrhea, HPV and syphilis. Is this correct? NOT Goal Compliant?
5. Finger vagina and suck on finger afterwards: very low risk (less than 1%) of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
6. Skin to skin genital contact: am concerned there is high risk of catching Herpes , HPV, and syphilis but “low or no risk” of catching any other STD. Is this correct? NOT Goal Compliant?
7. Vaginal and/or anal sex with condom: Excessive risk of catching STDs (condom breakage risk higher than blowjob). NOT Goal Compliant
8. Oral sex (my mouth on vagina): Excessive risk of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis. NOT Goal compliant.
9. Sucking on breasts: no risk of catching anything. Goal compliant.
If I have this right, provided I limit my activities to 1, 2, 3, 5, and 9 then I will be meeting my Goal. Agree? Further, I would not be a candidate for regular STD/HIV testing? I
Thank you very much.
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
87 months ago
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1. Receive hand job: no risk of catching anything. Goal compliant
Correct, zero risk, no condom needed and safe irrespective of whther your partner's genital secretions get on you or not. Safe sex!
2. Receive blow job using condom: very low risk (less than 1%) of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
Correct again. Also no meaningful risk for gonorrhea, chlamydia or NGU as well.
3. Allow provider to lick/kiss my testicles (not including shaft or top of penis) and anus area (with no barrier): very low risk of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
Correct.
4. Deep kiss (exchange saliva): am concerned there is excessive risk of catching Herpes but “low or no risk” of catching any other STD. Also, there is risk of catching gonorrhea, HPV and syphilis. Is this correct? NOT Goal Compliant?
See my comments above about HSV. HSV-1 infections typically are present and transmitted from the lips, not the oral cavity or with saliva. I really would NOT be worried about exposures of this sort..
5. Finger vagina and suck on finger afterwards: very low risk (less than 1%) of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis). Goal compliant
Correct.
6. Skin to skin genital contact: am concerned there is high risk of catching Herpes , HPV, and syphilis but “low or no risk” of catching any other STD. Is this correct? NOT Goal Compliant?
Disagree. In the absence of visible lesions, the risk of skin-to-skin genital contact is v very, very low risk for HSV, HPV or syphilis.
7. Vaginal and/or anal sex with condom: Excessive risk of catching STDs (condom breakage risk higher than blowjob). NOT Goal Compliant
Condoms which are correctly applied (i.e. leaving a small space at the tip) break les than 1% of the time. Risk for breakage however is slightly higher for anal or vaginal sex than with receipt of oral sex (these are to sorts of exposures that yield that 1% figure I cited).
8. Oral sex (my mouth on vagina): Excessive risk of catching HPV, herpes, and syphilis. NOT Goal compliant.
Again, I would put the risk of such exposure, in the absence of visible lesions, at 1% of less,, IF your partner was infected.
9. Sucking on breasts: no risk of catching anything. Goal compliant.
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
87 months ago
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87 months ago
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A sincere thank you for your prompt reply. This resource is so valuable with all the bad info on the web.
I have a few follow ups and a general observation. Would you agree if I exercise real discipline and just limit activity to items 1, 2, 3, 5, 6 (I'll visually confirm no lesions) and 9 then I can conclude I am practicing sufficiently "safe sex" such that I would not, in your opinion, need to do periodic STD testing? I really don't want to get on that cycle of testing and waiting for results (the anxiety would be too much).
Activity specific comments follow:
Item 3: Just read on the web that anus area kissing would "easily pass" HPV, Herpes and syphillis. Saw this on "smartsexresource.com." I'm not into rimming but would like some kissing around plenum and just nervous her tounge would touch anus area. Any thoughts on this?
And would you say I should limit unprotected kissing to testicles (thicker skin?) and keep shaft kissing limited to only where there is a condom on?
And if the provider licks my penis or shaft momentarily before applying the condom is that anything to get worried about? Is there a "once second rule" where if its not continuous bareback blow job then risk is real low?
Item 4: I get your good observation on HSV-1. Thank you. And when you say "really would NOT be worried about exposures of this sort" you are just referring to HSV-1, right? Or are you also saying risk of gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis are all below 1% from french kissing?
Item 8: So if I visually inspect vagina for lesions and see none then you are saying my mouth to her vagina licking/kissing is a really low risk (less than 1%) activity? So its just my confidence in my ability to spot lesions. Please confirm you are saying EVEN if she is infected if there are NO lesions then my risk of catching STDs is less than 1%, right?
Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR FEEDBACK. Much appreciated.
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
87 months ago
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87 months ago
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
87 months ago
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