I am scared to death.  I met a new guy.  We had sex.  I am a 40 year old female.  We did not use protection.  We went all the way without using anything.  Now he is asking VERY odd when I ask him if he has STD'S, Especially HIV.  I know he has a bad criminal history and has a bad problem with drinking lots.  I am scared to death.  I have had vaginal irritation and like a light brown discharge that started the day after we did this.  I was so stupid for doing this.  I am a single mother of 3 kids and I work 3 jobs.  If I ended up with HIV my life would be over.  

3) Should I be looking out for ARS symptoms?  If so are they similar to the flu?  How long after would they occur?  

4) Is it almost guaranteed that you will get HIV through an encounter such as this? 

Welcome to the Forum.  Thanks for your questions.  I'll be glad to comment.  Can you tell me how long ago this encounter was?  The reason I ask is because, if you were likely exposed to HIV, there is preventative medication which can be taken as long as it is taken within 72 hours of an exposure (and the earlier it is taken, the better).  I agree that this fellow's unwillingness to discuss his risk is worrisome  although even most people who are at risk for HIV (or other STIs) do not have them and even most exposures to persons with untreated HIV infection lead to infection only once in every more than 1000 exposures (in other words, more than 99.9% 0f the time, having sex with a person with untreated HIV does NOT result in infection).  If you choose to pursue preventative medications (it is referred to as PEP), it is typically quickly available through your health department or emergency rooms.  In answer to your specific questions:---

The encounter occured 5 days ago so I think I am past the point where PEP is helpful reading your answers.  Thanks for your help. 

You are correct.  PEP would have no proven effect at this time.  OTOH, at this time testing for the STIs I mentioned would provide accurate answers and those infections are far, far more common than HIV.  Also, as an FYI, testing for HIV at 4 weeks (28 days), while not completely conclusive would detect more than 99% of recent HIV infections.  EH---

Is the HIV RNA test worth it and reliable?  Would it detect HIV if I contacted it from this encounter? 

The manufacturers state that RNA PCR tests are conclusive any time more than 12 days following an exposure and indeed, we have never seen someone whose RNA PCR test was negative at 12 days go on to become positive.  It would be strong evidence that you were not infected.  At the same time, largely out of an abundance of caution, many experts suggest that despite negative RNA PCR tests, that at risk persons get a final 4th generation combination antigen/antibody test at 6 weeks, just to be sure.  To be honest, I think the 6 week test may well be overkill.---