[Question #10101] Another Mutual Masturbation Question

25 months ago

Hi Docs! Thanks you for all that you do. I've been on the forum and know the no risk assessment for mutual masturbation. Yet, a quilt mind wanders. I am Male, 36. Last week I cheated and masturbated with my best friend. We had NO physical contact, but we did share a tub of moisturizer. Though we didn't touch, the hands that we used to jerk off touched the lube. My friend is straight, and has been in a monogamous relationship for 4 years with no STI issues. 4 days after we masturbated, I had sex with my husband. We used an automatic fleshlight; basically a fleshlight with a vacuum pump that sucks your penis. The suction was a little rough and pinched the head of my penis a few times, to the point that I said ow. That night/next day my urethra and head felt sensitive. I've been stressed/googling: aside from frequent urination which I attribute to the anxiety and I do drink a lot of coffee/diet soda/water, I've had no discharge, painful urination, swelling or pelvic/testicular pain. 48 hours later and the discomfort seems to be going away. Is it possible to pass on clyamydia or gonherra via infected lube? Is it possible for either of those to show up 5-6 months after an initial infection? Do I need to be testing?

25 months ago

I would also like to use one of my follow up questions.

I've been reading that gonhorrea and claymydia can be dormant for months. Last winter, during a rough patch in the relationship I mutually masturbated with several different men, and kissed one man, and I was always careful to avoid semen. Never any oral or anal sex.

Out of anxiety I tested for HIV and Syphillis ( both negative). Does having multiple masturbation partners necessitate testing for clyamydia or gonherra? I'm paranoid that symptoms can pop up anytime now. I didn't worry before Googling, assuming that symptoms would have appeared 2-14 days post activity. My partner is 56 and has some hip pain. I'm now paranoid that it could be due to clyamydia or gonherra, as some sites say that both can cause joint problems.

We've been having regualr sex since I was mutually masturbating 6 months ago. He's has no symptoms. Can I put my mind at rest, given that mutual masturbation was my only sexual activity?

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

25 months ago

Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question.

There is no limit to the topics that can be raised in an initial question, as long as it doesn't exceed the character limit (1000). Yours probably comes close, but no big deal. We do ask, however, that follow-up questions and. comments be used to clarify the initial issues and not raise entirely new ones.

Thanks for being a forum fan. As you apparently realize -- intellectually if not emotionally -- that hand-genital contact (mutual masturbation etc) carries little or no risk for any STD. I see nothing in any of the specific events you describe or your symptoms that raises concern. You have an obvious explanation for your urethra and penis to seem "sensitive", both the minor trauma from the flashlight and perhaps anxiety raising your awareness of these feelings. As for infections being transmitted by sexual lubricants, it happens rarely if ever. Among other things, most commercial lubricants probably contain preservatives that inhibit bacteria and viruses.

That said, the multiple partners business may deserve attention. Even with extremely low risk for any single event, that risk of course rises with the number of times it happens. And although kissing is generally risk free, there's some controversy about it: some very respected STD investigators in Melbourne, Australia have data that they believe suggests gonorrhea may be transmitted by kissing after all.

And my final thought about this is that anxious persons -- sufficiently concerned to come to this or other online advice resources -- often are more reassured by negative test results than by professional opinion, no matter how expert and science based they or their advice may be. (We don't take it personally!) And all in all, the main STDs are most common by far in men who have sex with other men. Do I think there is a significant chance you would test positive for common STDs? Definitely not. But might you sleep better if you have had some negative tests for the most common or serious infections? Maybe -- that's only something you can answer. If so, I would advise testing gonorrhea and chlamydia (urine for both, throat swab for gonorrhea) (chlamydia very rarely infects the throat); and blood tests for HIV and syphilis.

I think those comments pretty well cover your specific questions, but let me know if I missed anything or if something isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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25 months ago

Thanks for your response. I'm a bit confused, as I read on so many responses here that mutual masturbation is virtually no risk, and does not require testing because hand to genital contact doesn't transmit STI, even as a repeated behavior.

My only encounters have been hand to genital mutual masturbation and the kissing.

I've already tested for HIV and Syphillis and both were negative.

The sensitivity in my penis is completely gone. It lasted less that 48 hours after using the toy.

Are you suggesting testing because I need it given the virtually no risk activity? Or are you suggesting it as a way to ease my mind? The HIV and Syphillis tests were so stressful, that I feel the psychological stress of doing it again might outweigh the most likely negative results.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

25 months ago

I missed that you've recently tested negative for HIV and syphilis. I have confirmed that mutual masturbation is "virtually no risk" as you worded it yourself. Nobody can say it is truly zero risk, however. It's certainly more risky than, for example, shaking hands. That said, if 1000 people had the exposures you describe, probably none would test positive.

I agree that from a medical/risk perspective, you do not need testing for gonorrhea or chlamydia. I also gave a reason you might want to do it anyway. I was thinking more of HIV than gonorrhea or chlamydia. Re-read my comments carefully. It's up to you!

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25 months ago

Thank you Dr. And thank you for dealing with my very anxious mind, I know this must be taxing and I appreciate what you are doing for me.

Just to clarify for my mind: testing was being suggested to ease an anxious mind. It isn't medically necessary given the low risk behavior? I can take your word on that! It will put my mind at ease, especially since it's been over 6 months since my mutual masturbation fun. Neither have us have has any symptoms.

25 months ago

I've calmed down and read through your response carefully and with a clear mind. I understand what you were suggesting and why. Thank you again.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

25 months ago

Your "Just to clarify" statement is exactly right. I'm glad you understand.---