[Question #10251] Risk assessment

24 months ago

Hello, i met woman (she workd as a customer support manager), she is a divorced 40 year old women with 4 kids, looks aesthetic, im in my 20s and i work a hugh paying engineering job and she told me should would go out with me if i helped her out a bit financially ( her husband is not supportive), anyways went out with her and it went well then we had sex, the sexual intercouse was unprotected and lasted around 5 mins, after we were done i asked her why she was okay with no condom or didnt she worry, she told me that i dont look like the kind of guy to have std, and she says she does regular testing and shes clean, she had a bf for 8 months before we met..

How risky is this, should i test? What do you think?

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

24 months ago

Welcome back. Looking over your previous questions, you have been using two or three usernames and account, which we discourage. Please consolidate into one. Second, I see an interesting trend: you present each question with wording suggesting a new partnership, but in total it seems you've been having frequent new partnerships, each (probably) really one-time events. Do I have it right?

That said, mostly (and this time) it seems you select partners probably at pretty low risk for STD. That's certainly the case here -- although I am ignorant of sexual lifestyles and norms in your country (which for semi-political reasons I think need not be stated).

Anyway, your description suggests little or no STD risk from this particular exposure. On the other hand, your overall track record indicates it would be reasonable to have STD/HIV testing once in a while, perhaps once a year. If so, I would suggest testing for urethral gonorrhea and chlamydia, and blood tests for HIV and syphilis. Not on account of this partnership, but just looking at your apparent sexual lifestyle. I would anticipate negative test results, but better safe than sorry.

I hope this makes sense. Of course correct me if I've mistaken the situation or if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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24 months ago

hello, doc thanks for the answer and yes you are correct i have another username, sorry about that

i live in israel and STD is not that prominent here and is unheard of except for gay people in capital which is known to be the gay capital of the middle east, i live in a family oriented area but im single and the gyms and the malls and the area is full of generally older women and i find myself going out with them from time to time, usually it dosent last due to the age gap and other things..in the last year i had 2 exposures of unprotected sex, im still in contact with both women and they are normal women with kids and normal jobs, i do admit im a bit paranoid and i would never initiate unprotected sex but it is what it is,

you are probably correct , i should get myself checked and better safe than sorry

thanks alot!

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

24 months ago

I don't see a follow-up question here. I have no personal knowledge about sexual mores in Israel, but your description suggests that partners such as you have had probably are unlikely to have transmissible STDs. Testing from time to time still might be warranted, not only "better safe than sorry" but because some persons are more reassured by negative test results than by professional opinion. We understand and don't take it personally! ---