[Question #1041] HIV RISK?

49 months ago
Last evening, I went to a strip club, which acts more as a brothel. I received a lap dance from a dancer who was wearing underwear.  I was fully clothed as well.
My concern is this: as she was grinding on top of me, her mouth made contact with my neck. I pulled back because I was worried she'd give me hickey. There was no pain involved. She used her mouth this way against my neck twice- I'm not is she was kissing it, just leaning her lips against it, or nibbling at it. I'm not sure if she used her teeth. She was missing a bottom tooth. I didn't think much of it, and as soon as I got home 15 minutes later, I checked my neck and it looked fine. No marks or anything. No blood what so ever. Today, I was ruminating about the incident and began to question, what if she did nibble on my neck,bite me slightly, and I just didn't see any blood (for it was microscopic) I do think if she had bitten me I would have noticed. I have been obsessing that I could get hiv this way? I shaved my face this morning, and there is just one small red mark, which looks like a small pimple, something that happens often when I shave. Should I get tested for this? i'm married an d feel guilty. I don't want to put my family in jeporady. I apologize if this all sounds silly. I wasn't concerned last night but then reading about "theoretical" possibilities on the internet  scared me. i was just tested for HIV two months ago for a life insurance exam and was negative. Should I re-test?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
49 months ago

Welcome back to the Forum.  You seem to be in a bit of a vicious cycle, going to strip clubs where you have no risk exposures to the dancers/servers and then worrying that you might have acquired an STI of some sort through your actions, I suppose reflecting a certain amount of guilt and shame over your behavior.  This suggests to me that you are in a bit of dilemma her and perhaps need some help thinking things through with a professional counselor. 

As for the exposure that you describe, it was a no risk event.  As Dr. Handsfield and I have explained over the course of our answers to your four past series of questions, most dancers and commercial sex workers do not have HIV or other STIs and HIV and most other STIs are transmitted only through penetrative sexual contact.  These infections are not spread through clothing (even clothing that is wet with genital secretions), by skin to skin contact, or in answer to your current question, by kissing- even kissing that might lead to a hickey.  This is also the cases if she nibbled at your neck (and this is not a time to let your anxiety lead you to a series of "what if" questions about microscopic breakage of the skin, etc.).  As you point out, had she bitten you and broken the skin, you would have noticed and there would be immediate visible evidence. 

As before, your searching the internet in relationship to your concerns is likewise a bad idea.  As you have found out, such searches will just fuel your needless concerns and heighten your anxiety.  This was a no risk event. There is no reason for concern, there is no need for testing of any sort.  I do suggest however you discuss your behavior pattern with a counselor so that you can figure out a way to continue your visits to these clubs without guilt and shame or to be able to cease doing it.  In my opinion, you are paying too high a price for these club visits. EWH

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49 months ago
Good morning. It says my question was updated but I am unable to read the response. Just to reaffirm, I do not have a hickey, bruise, or broken skin. Essentially, the escort was kissing my neck, and possibly, I'm not quite sure might have grazed my neck with her teeth. I don't think she even did. After reading articles on line, I have begun to ruminante about whether she used her teeth slightly or not. Just to add, before dancing for me she had me apply sanitizer to my hands as did she. She also said she always uses condoms. She either had a misusing bottom tooth or perhaps it was deformed. This aspect along with my internet searches have left me worried. Essentially, no sex what so ever, only thing was this woman gave me a dance and kissed my neck,'possibly utilizing her teen, although I doubt it. I know my fears are irrational. I would greatly appreciate your expertise in this manner. Thank you 
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
49 months ago
Please see the response above.  EWH
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49 months ago
Thank you, Doctor. You are in deed correct. Getting some professional help is needed in this situation. I want to thank you for your kindness and assistance. The price I'm paying for these indiscretions is too great.In regards to the last question, you are correct. If someone actually bites you, you feel it. If you break skin, my assumption is you'l bleed. It would also hurt. In hindsight, my question sounds silly. Thanks again.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
49 months ago
Glad to help.  I hope you will seek the assistance of a trained, professional counselor.  EWH
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49 months ago
In closing, Doctor, I have there questions:
1) was this last activity a greater risk than the previous ones? 2) Can I safely resume unprotected sex with my spouse? 3) If there had been a break in the skin, would I undeniably know immediately?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
49 months ago

No, this, like your prior questions, was a no risk event.  Thus, logically, there is no risk for you in having unprotected sex with your wife.  Your 3rd question is repetitive- I said above "As you point out, had she bitten you and broken the skin, you would have noticed and there would be immediate visible evidence."

This is my third reply to your most recent series of questions.  Thus, as per Forum policy, this thread will be closed shortly.  EWH

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