Just over 10 weeks ago, I went to a massage parlor and engaged in light mutual masturbation and finished via very brief protected oral.  Immediately, I had symptoms that are consistent with genitally focused anxiety (frequent urination and irritation at the tip of the penis, never any pain during urination or discharge) .  I have  read that this would be a NO risk exposure and many times declared myself out of the woods without needing to tell my partner. 9 days after the exposure, I had a routine urinalysis that came back normal.  The gfa symptoms have come and gone over the weeks. 7 weeks after exposure, I had unprotected sex with my partner for the first and only time since the massage.  At my most recent dr visit, he recommended that I actually get the test done to try to relieve my anxiety.  I gave my sample yesterday and have been feeling great that it would come back negative and I could finally leave this all behind without having to tell my wife.  Just this morning though, she (42) told me that she is having the heaviest period that she ever has had and I am scared that I passed something to her; the timing is so scary.  1.  can you please walk me through why this was a no risk encounter?  I have read it many other posts but want to hear it for my question.2. if my test comes back negative at 10 weeks, is there any chance that I could have cleared an infection by week 7 and passed something to her a few weeks ago?   I really don't want to have to tell my partner that she should be tested for my stupid mistake; I am afraid that it would end our marriage

There is no realistic chance you have gonorrhea, chlamydia, or any other STD from the events described. And your worry about your partner's menstrual periods has no basis. Variably heavy periods are entirely normal for most women from time to time. This is not a symptom that raises concern about any STD.

1. You have accurately analyzed the reasons this was a near zero risk encounter.

2. No. You should view your negative test result -- and that's what it will be, negative --as proof you were not infected and could not have infected your partner. There is no reason to 'fess up to her. Based on the information you have provided, she doesn't need STD testing.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD