[Question #11023] Followup question from heavy grinding

17 months ago

Hi doctor. I really hope I didn’t disturb you. You told me to move on and believe me i did but i developed couple of symptoms that returned my worries.

First yesterday which is 16 days from the encounter i developed a scratchy throat and nasal congestion then the next day developed runny nose, ear clogged, headache and facial pressure, dry irritated tongue and roof of the mouth. and postnasal drip, slight pain during swallowing. Is it ARS or cold or sinusitis. No fever or rash. Slight body pain but that i put it due to gyming.

Thank you.

17 months ago

I started imagining, now she was on top of me grinding frottage and my penis is pointed to my stomach, how would it go in like that with the grind. You said you will certainly know but i really dont. Sorry for the imagination. I dont know if she has reason to lie that we didn’t have sex.

17 months ago

So the agent of the CSW told me when they come they take prep which protects them from HIV and they have a doctor that give the agent the prep medication and the doctor test them before they go to the agent. After 24 hours she leaves to her home and after 3 days she does checkup. What i read it takes atleast 18-45 days to detect HIV. Do you know any test that can detect hiv in 72 hours and within 20 minutes the result comes out. The agent said if she had sex without a condom she will ask for family planning peals pills to prevent pregnancy. She is married with 3 kids, the youngest is 4 years.. her husband knows about her activities and he trust her to be safe. Most of the girls are married.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

17 months ago

Welcome back, but I'm sorry you found it necessary. I reviewed your recent discussion with Dr. Hook and agree with all he said.

One of the main conclusions you should draw from that discussion is that there was simply no realistic possibility that any of the exposures you described have left you with HIV or any other STI. And therefore, that any symptoms you have or develop in the future cannot be due to HIV or any STI from those events. You needs to think objectively about all this and not fall back on your apparent STI anxieties and attribute every itch and tingle to those events.

As for your current symptoms, you caught a cold! Isn't that obvious? Especially at this time of year? And ARS never causes nasal congestion and similar -- never! And the additional details of the contact you describe do not alter the zero risk of the event. On bop of which, you provide strong evidence there is little chance your CSW partner has HIV. The timing of her HIV test is irrelevant: with a negative test, she could not have transmitted the virus to you even if she had recently been infected. People with new HIV cannot give it to later contacts before their test results become positive.

Do your best to stop overthinking any of this. There is no possibility you have HIV. Believe it and move on without further worry.

HHH, MD

---
---

17 months ago

Thank you doctor Handsfield.

It just those symptoms that i had going now for almost 2 years just kept me thinking.

I’ve being suffering for bloating and too much for couple of months now. I recently GERD like symptoms, acid reflex.

2 painless small lymph one in side of the neck, the other is at the back.

Recurrent sinus issues but I contributed that to vaping too much for a period of time.

Hand tremors.

And the prostatitis symptoms.

It just made me think what if it is linked to hiv.

I think I didn’t penetrate if i think it rationally. It cant happen the way i mentioned it above.

I hardly think she has it because she is married with the youngest kid is 4 yrs and husband here which ofcourse she has to be extra safe to not bring harm to him.

But those symptoms just drives my mind crazy. Thank you again.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

17 months ago

None of these symptoms even hints at HIV. Even the most typical ARS symptoms usually have other causes, and most new HIV infections cause no symptoms anyway. Therefore, SYMPTOMS ALMOST NEVER ARE USEFUL WAYS TO JUDGE WHETHER OR NOT HIV INFECTION IS PRESENT! That your symptoms are "driving you crazy" is not something I can address further, but all this does suggest an underlying psychological issue: it is not normal to be so resistant to such repeated, reasoned, science based evidence and advice, perhaps from your own doctor's in addition to this forum. You might consider professional counseling about it; I suggest it from compassion, not criticism. In any case, please stop asking about your symptoms. There is nothing you can add that would possibly change our evaluation and advice.---
---

17 months ago

I know this my last reply and I won’t be able to add new reply.

Doctor Hook explained to me about the frottage situation but im afraid what if it actually went in, CSW really wanted to have sex but i refused, is it possible that it mistakenly went in and she continued grinding without me noticing it, i dont know. It worries me.

I deeply want to thank you for your time in replying to my worries.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

17 months ago

Sorry, but I won't go along with "what if" speculations. I can't imagine penile penetration you didn't notice, but even if that happened there is overwhelming evidence your partner doesn't have HIV. What is so hard to understand and believe??? We don't demand much of the people who ask our advice, but we do insist that they at least try to think rationally. Also, perhaps you'd like to know that in the 20 years of this and our preceding forum, with thousands of questions from people worried about HIV, none has yet reported they eventually tested positive. You will not be the first. When it happens, it certainly won't be from a zero risk situation like yours.

And anyway, you're always free to have an HIV test if the negative result will help you believe you don't have it.

That indeed ends this thread. I appreciate your thanks. However, please be aware of the forum policy against repeated questions, especially ones that are anxiety driven and wholly irrational. This being your second, it will have to be your last about this exposure (or similar ones) and your HIV/STI fears. Future new ones will receive no reply and the posting fee will not be refunded. This policy is based on compassion, not criticism, and is intended to reduce temptations to pay for questions with obvious answers. And experience shows that continued answers tend to prolong anxiety rather than helping it. Finally, such quesitons have little educational value for other users, one of the forum's main purposes. Thank you for your understanding. I do hope the two discussions eventually help you to move on without worry.

---
---