[Question #11179] 33/M , Someone told me I gave her HPV 18, the guilt is awful, please help
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16 months ago
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3 months ago I had sex with a girl that I used to have sex with often, however this was the first time in about 3-4 years. We just had sex this 1 time. A week ago she said she went in for a routine pap smear and they told her she had HPV 18, which I guess is the worst one. She said it had to have come from me because she hadn't been sexually active with anyone else in almost 2 years. She told me it puts her at a risk of cervical cancer. I didn't know much about HPV but once I got on here and read the details and how there's not really a way of testing in men I became quite dismayed because I can't confirm it was me that gave it to her. I got vaccinated about 11 years ago. I feel a massive amount of guilt for apparently giving it to her and now so much uncertainty. She told me now she can't sex with anyone for a while, she is also waiting on her cervical testing results. I feel horrible and feel like I can never have sex again because I don't want to infect someone.
-Odds of transmission? Is my sex life now at the mercy of having to disclose this prior to every sexual encounter I have from here on out hoping it doesn't scare them off?
-What are the odds her or I getting cancer?
-Is there a chance that it has passed in the time since?
-Should I be freaking out this bad? I do have severe health anxiety
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
16 months ago
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Welcome to our Forum. Thanks for your questions. I'll be glad to comment. For starters, it is very unlikely that you gave this woman HPV 18. If you were vaccinated 11 years ago, you have more than 98% protection from HPV 18 so it is most unlikely that you have it. FYI, HPV infection in women can take years to manifest itself. It is almost certain that you did not give her her infection.
In response to your specific questions:
-Odds of transmission? Is my sex life now at the mercy of having to disclose this prior to every sexual encounter I have from here on out hoping it doesn't scare them off?
No. As I said above, it is unlikely you have HPV. There is no need for disclosure. If you wish to read more about disclosure of HPV infection if you had it (and there is no evidence that you do!) and why we do not feel disclosure is not necessary even for persons know to be infected, please read other threads on the Forum on this topic. There are many and we leave them there for others to read for the purpose of informing our clients.
-What are the odds her or I getting cancer?
Virtually zero. I explained why you are not at risk above. As for her, nearly all HPV infections resolve on their own. If she had pre-cancerous changes on future PAP smears, her gynecologist will be able to intervene.
-Is there a chance that it has passed in the time since?
See above. most HPV infections resolve on their own.
-Should I be freaking out this bad? I do have severe health anxiety
No. As I suggested, please read other threads on the Forum on this topic- there are many of them. EWH
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16 months ago
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Hi Dr. Hook, thank you for your response. This girl messaged me today because she got her biopsy results and it said Slightly Precancerous Cells. Now I can't help to feel guilty. I can't convince myself it's not because of me.
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
16 months ago
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As explained, you are worrying needlessly. There is little to no chance that you infected her.
Further, "slightly precancerous" is not a diagnosis. Atypical cells may or may not progress. Irrespective, the fact that she has been tested should allow her to work with her gynecologist to address the problem. EWH
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