On one hand, it's reasonable for persons with HSV2 to be concerned about HIV risk; on average, people with HSV2 have double the risk of becoming infected if sexually exposed to HIV. On the other hand, in most settings double risk doesn't mean very much. Why not? Look at it this way:  if the risk of catching HIV is say one chance in a million, then with HSV2 a double risk means one chance in 500,000 -- i.e. still nearly zero.

And one in a million probably is a good estimate of HIV risk from an exposure like you describe. First, even in the most sexually active women with "multiple sex partners", the large majority don't have HIV. Second, when a female has untreated HIV infection, then even with entirely unprotected sex the average HIV transmission risk is one chance in 2,500. Third, your condom use was effective. It is common for the penis to slip inside the condom during intercourse, and even condom protected sex usually involves some contact of penile skin with vaginal fluid -- but for HIV, that does not increase the transmission risk. In other words, there is nothing especially risky about your exposure.

For those reasons, from a medical/risk standpoint, you don't need testing for HIV and other STDs. Of course you are free to be tested if you would find a negative test result to be reassuring. Or perhaps you could speak with your partner about her HIV status; and she hasn't recently had a negative HIV test, encourage her to do so now. If she were to test negative, you would know for certain there was no risk.

So the main STD risk in this scenario was for your partner, not for you -- i.e. potentially exposing her to your genital herpes. I hope you told her about your herpes; if not, it would be a kindness for you to tell her now.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

when someone has hsv and doesn’t use condom, whats the difference in transmission route and risk level compare to my situation ? When vaginal fluid touches the herpetic lesions inside the condom or part of the penis like the way it happened to me, there is no way for hiv to enter the area?  i really appreciate your help and have a great day

But the important parts of my reply are that your partner was unlikely to have HIV; and even if she did, your risk was very low regardless of your HSV2 infection. If somehow I were in your situation, I would not be tested for HIV and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry.