[Question #11376] Oral vs genital hsv1 g
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14 months ago
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Female, have had HSV-1-G for about 5 years. 1 small outbreak in the last 3 or so years so it feels pretty under control.
I’m preparing to tell my partner I have it but want to know: is it a similar risk for my partner to get type 1 G from me by having intercourse (protected) vs. if he were to get a BJ from a random person (unprotected)? I believe about 50-80% of the population has type 1 (most orally), but many don’t know it and they still shed. I want him to have all the information he needs to make a decision but also believe that there is similar risk in hooking up with random people vs with me who knows and would use protection. I believe the mouth sheds more than the genitals for type 1 is that right? Please fact check me here and let me know if he should be more concerned with me vs the unknown for spreading type 1. Thanks!
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
14 months ago
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He is far more likely, statistically, to get HSV 1 from receiving oral sex. About 47% of the population between 14 and 49 has HSV 1 in the US. HSV 1 is far more active orally than genitally. If you've had this for five years, then you are shedding somewhere around 4 days out of an entire year. So your information is correct.
Terri
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14 months ago
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Thank you. I just told my partner and it was a dealbreaker for him and he ended things with me. It feels so unfair that I have to disclose the minuscule risk, when 47% of the population who also a carry it do not do this disclosure. What is your opinion on telling people vs. making sure protection is worn etc.? Since so many people have it, it feels like such a disadvantage for only a few people to need to have the tough conversation, when those who have had a cold sore on their mouth before are often not saying anything. What is your opinion? Could I wait to tell someone if we are always using protection?
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Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
14 months ago
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I'm so sorry! Fear overcame reason in this situation, for sure. The least he could have done is test for HSV 1 as 70% of infected people don't know they have HSV 1.
The HSV 1 thing is so challenging and there is no perfect answer.
If you decide to use daily antiviral therapy and insist that your partners use condoms with intercourse, I think that is a reasonable strategy to avoid disclosing, though not everyone would agree with me on this, I suppose.
The problem is that if you disclose later in the relationship, the partner may feel lied to and not trust you.
It is such a double-edged sword, isn't it?
Terri
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