Hi There! I'm entering into a polyamarous relationship where the partner I am involved also sees someone who is positive for HSV-1. I found out about this after kissing her. My understanding is that most of the population has the virus already orally, but on all past tests I have come up as negative and am hoping to keep.it that way if possible. The other partner has not had an outbreak for 3 years, but I read in some places that the asymptomatic viral shedding rate is about once a month. The partner I am seeing says that the do not have it. I'm curious if you can give me a general sense of how risky it is to contract the virus, given the asymptomatic partner has not had an outbreak for nearly 3 years, and that I am as far as I can tell, negative for the virus by IGG and the other ones taken over the past couple of years. I really want to avoid contracting the virus if possible, but given the risks and what I read it seems so pervasive that I can't help bu think this isn't riskier than other long term relationships I've been in. 

Without knowing the HSV 1 status of the other long-term partners that you've had, it's hard to address your question.  In addition to that complication, the IgG test for HSV 1 misses 30% of infections, and in my experience, it is missed repeatedly on IgG tests.  About 47% of the US population between 14 and 49 have HSV 1 infection.  Many are asymptomatic; in fact, probably most do not recognize this infection in themselves.  Without an accurate test, it isn't possible to know the true status of your partner at the current time.  We do not have transmission rates for HSV 1.  Just about the only reliable statistic we have in this area is that if someone is having a cold sore every other month, they shed virus on about 25% of days.  This doesn't apply to you.  We do know that people who have newly acquired infection shed virus more often than those who have a more established infection (usually).---