[Question #1154] Help: kissing stripper and stds

80 months ago
Hello Drs,

I'm in need of some serious help. Last weekend, I was at a bachelor party in key west and as most bachelor parties do, we ended up at a strip club. Not the most high end of strip clubs, but I ended up getting very very drunk.

It's fuzzy, but I ended up getting mutiple private dances from one girl. She was naked, I was fully clothed with shorts, boxers and a tshirt on. In the 2nd or 3rd private dance we kissed a few times. I don't believe it was a make out and I even remember her saying she can't kiss me because she would get in trouble (security cameras). Anyway, we finished the dances, the grinding was very aggressive, I did end up cuming (embarrassing) in my pants. Following that, I stumbled home and passed out.

Ever since I've been absolutely losing my mind . I've done this before when it comes to std possible incidents. I had a sore throat the next day and the roof of my mouth was red and sore from Tuesday- Thursday. I had 2 doctors check it out and they said it was nothing. They also said it was a no risk situation.

My questions are:

What are the possibilities of me contracting an std from this experience? Specifically hiv, scabies or hsv2? I should note I've had cold sores when I was a kid. I'm worried mostly about hiv or scabies. I've been kinda itchy all over and somewhat tired the past couple of days, but idk if that's just my mind messing with me. 

I want to get tested for piece of mind and the fact that I have a girlfriend. When's the soonest I can get tested for everything? Can I get tested at 2 weeks for everything then again at 4 weeks? How accurate would a 2 week 4th gen hiv test be?

Can I be sexual with my girlfriend? 

Please let me know, thanks. 


H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
80 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your confidence in our services.

You are not at risk for any STD. Kissing doesn't transmit any STD, or so rarely you can ignore it. The main risk of kissing is for common cold, influenza, etc. Also, it is not possible to have symptoms of any infection less than 24 hours after exposure. Your sore throat probably is due to some physical irritation, or you're getting a cold that you caught a few days before the strip club event. In other words, I agree with the two doctors you have seen that "it was nothing". In addition, STDs are not transmitted through clothing; there was no risk from the "grinding", no matter how "aggressive" it was.

Specifcially, you are not at risk for HIV, scabies, or HSV2 (which is rarely carried in the mouth). In theory, kissing could transmit HSV1 resulting in oral herpes, but that's not an STD. And you might already have HSV1 anyway, since half of all adults are infected (regardless of whether or not they have known cold sores).

I strongly recommend you not be tested for anything on account of this event or your symptoms. It impossible you were infected, and sore throat generally isn't an STD symptom. However, if you have had sex with more than one partner in the past and have not recently been tested for STDs, you might want to do that now, while it's on your mind. But definitely not because of this event. If you get tested on account of past risks, all you should have is a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia and blood tests for syphilis and HIV. Do not waste money on ones you don't need, such as an online "comprehensive" STD panel of tests.

If you're going to do it anyway, have a 4th generation ("duo", "combo") HIV blood test at 4 weeks. Don't waste money on earlier testing; at 2 weeks, the test will be about 80-90% reliable, which isn't bad, but not good enough to relieve your worries about it.

But really, this isn't something to worry about. Personally, I would not get tested for anything if somehow I were in your situation. Don't confuse your anxieties about a sexual decision you regret with disease transmission risk from the event. They aren't the same.  Deal with the former as you need to (maybe discuss with your girlfriend?), but disregard the latter.

I hope this has helped. Let me know if anything isn't clear. Best wishes--  HHH, MD

80 months ago

Thank you so much for your response so quickly. Words cannot express how thankful I am. I've read a number of your posts on medhelp, you've provided so much great advice and information to so many people.

This is definitely the only incident, so there wouldn't be a need for testing based on anything else. I had an incident with an old flame maybe 1.5 years ago, which my girlfriend knows about, and have been tested twice since then. 

A couple of follow up questions:

It's day 8 since my night of foolishness, I'm feeling generally very malaise. Could barely get through a workout this morning and have been sleeping way more than usual. Literally have been passing out throughout the day.  Also, have some back pain. These 3 things have spiked in the last 48 hours. I have that "flu coming on" type of feeling. Theoretically, do you think these could be symptoms of anything? A more general question is 8 days too short for any symptoms to show for stds?

Could I be creating these symptoms in my head? How often have you seen this?

Have you ever heard of anyone catching anything from lap dances? Or kissing for that matter? 

I know this was a low risk event, but I can't get it out of my head that I could have something and could infect my girlfriend. It literally makes me naseous thinking about it.

I will most likely get tested for everything at 4 weeks, so the next 3 weeks are going to be rough.

Let me know your thoughts, thanks! 

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
80 months ago
No STD would cause these symptoms. Probably they indeed are "in your head":  whenever someone suspects his own symptoms have a psychological origin, he is almost always right. I "see this" all the time, several times a week on this forum alone. I've never had a patient who appeared to have acquired an STD from a lap dance or kissing. I cannot help what you "can't get out of your head" other than presenting the scientific truths that I have. Feel free to be tested if you must, but it would be a waste of money. And the chance of a false positive (very anxiety producing) test result is a lot higher than the possibility you acquired any STD. Re-read what I wrote above about anxiety versus real STD risk.

80 months ago
Got it. Thanks, doc. Sounds like I should just put this behind me and keep moving on.

Final couple of questions:
You mention false positive, what are the chances of this? Assuming I ran the full panel for chlamydia, ghonorehha, syphillis, herpes 2 and hiv. Also assuming I got the 4th gen hiv test. I do want to test for piece of mind, but to your point, I'm not sure how I would react if I received a positive result.

Finally, regarding scabies, how come you say it's no no risk? I feel like being in such a dirty environment with a stripper could pose a risk, particularly cause I had shorts on and my legs were exposed. Maybe I'm over thinking it though. 

Let me know, thanks.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
80 months ago
For most of those tests, the chance of false positive results is very low, well under a tenth of a percent. But even that is a lot higher than the chance you acquired any of those infections, so why take the risk? For HSV2, false positive results are quite common. Many uninfected people have low-positive results, i.e. technically positive but in fact not infected. Probably at least a 1% chance, maybe as high as 10%.

I am unaware of any data that scabies is especially associated with dirty environments or can be transmitted by personal contact with intervening clothing. I do believe you are over thinking it.

That completes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question, and so ends this thread. If you go ahead with testing and anything turns up positive, feel free to return with a new question and we'll take it from there.

Take care and stay safe.