[Question #1155] Advice needed.

84 months ago
First of all, thank you for this website and for providing individuals with great knowledge and information. I sincerely appreciate your guys' services.

I just entered a new relationship and had a few questions about some things. First off, I do not 100 percent know his sexual status, but we did have a talk where he told me that he was clean and did not have any STD's. However, I know that you cannot always trust people's word which is why I used protection during sexual contact. Last night, we engaged in sexual activity- no sex though. He fingered me and I gave him oral with a condom on. We also grinding (frottage), where he had his underwear on and so did I. Sorry for all the questions, I just want to make sure that i'm being safe.

1. I licked the trunk (not head) of his penis and balls without any protection. Can I get HIV or herpes on my mouth from this?

2. Could i contract genital herpes from frottage with underwear on? When I got off of him, the side of his balls and a little bit of the trunk of his penis was seeping out through the side of his boxers, but i had my underwear on too. Can i get genital herpes from this?

3. His precum touched my lips, but i wiped it off. Can i get hiv from this?

4. His cum got all over my face. Can i get hiv from?

5. At one point he had precum on his hands and tried to touch my vagina. Can i get genital herpes or hiv from this?
Edward W. Hook M.D.
84 months ago
Welcome to our forum.  Thanks for your complement and congratulations on your commitment to safe sex.  It is not only a great way to stay safe but the conversations you have with your partner can be a great way to strengthen your communications and relationship.  As you move forward, you might consider going for STI screening together, not as a matter of trust. It because STIs may occur without symptoms our with mild symptoms that are misidentified as something other than an STI. 

The activities you describe are virtually no risk.  To provide specific answers:
1.  There is no risk for HIV from this activity and virtually not risk for herpes.  If you have HSV-1, the virus that causes cold sores, and he does not, you could potentially transmit this virus to him (the risk of this is tiny, less than 1 chance in 1000).  In contrast, there is little risk of him transmitting infection to you in this way.

2.  No risk.  Neither herpes nor other STIs are transmitted through clothing, even when the clothing is wet with genital secretions.

3.  No risk of HIV from contact  of his preejaculatory fluid with your lips.

4.  No risk of HIV from getting his ejacualte on your face.

5.  No STIs are transmitted through transfer of genital secretions from person to person on hands or fingers, including HIV and herpes.  This is why mutual masturbation is safe sex.

I hope these responses are helpful to you.  EWH
84 months ago
Thank you for your diligent response and helpful information.


1. Even if his cum was to have gotten in my eye, could I get hiv from this?
2. What are the chances of me contracting hiv from the situation I just described?

3. You said I could not contract genital herpes from frottage with underwear on. Even if his penis and balls rubbed against my vagina WITH my underwear on, I could not contract genital herpes from this, correct? 
4. Should I be worried about this situation, even if part of his penis and balls were out? I did have my underwear on, but i'm worried that perhaps the rubbing could have caused my underwear to shift and expose my vagina.

Thank you for the helpful information, I sincerely appreciate it!
Edward W. Hook M.D.
84 months ago
Straight to your questions:
1.  Correct, there is virtually no risk for HIV in the unlikely circumstance that your partner had HIV and you got his ejaculate in your eye.
2.  Virtually zero.
3.  Correct, still no risk.
4.  Even with his penis and testicles out there is still no risk for infection.

I see no medical reason for you to be concerned.  EWH