[Question #11596] Very worried

13 months ago

Hi Drs hope you can help well last Wednesday I had booked in for a gay massage involving a soak in the bath. I am very worried and feel as though I was penetrated in the bath tub but I can’t see how that was possible but still having panic attacks about it. I seem to have lost thinking capacity after it had happened I was sat in the bath and he sat behind me with his legs placed over my thighs but I can’t remember exactly what had happened I did ask him and he said I was imagining things. Straight after the bath tub I dried myself and went for a massage it ended in him giving me oral sex and then me leaving but now I am left paranoid and worried if I had caught something of him he has been in the trade for over 10 years and I feel a lot of guilt as i am married to. If I take a hiv pcr test on Saturday which is 10 days can I call it conclusive at that or will I need to wait longer I am holding of having sex with my wife he has assured me nothing happened in the tub but still I’m doubting it also I have had very itchy spots all over the the side and back of my head could this be anything serious. He also keeps telling me he is hiv negative but I’m so confused and don’t know what to do.

13 months ago

Sorry I forgot to also mention 8 hours prior to meeting I had on open blister on my index finger and I did wank him could that have been an entry for hiv to infect? Thank you

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

13 months ago

Welcome and thanks for your question. Sorry for the somewhat longer than usual delay in responding.

I don't know how much I can help. You seem to know that you were at no significant risk for HIV if no anal penetration occurred. Of course I cannot judge that; you're the only one who can. However, it seems to me that it's very unlikely, and I think you know that your anxiety is altering your judgment. I am going to assume no anal penetration occurred, in which case the oral sex is the only aspect to be concerned about. And that was zero risk for HIV -- or very close to zero. There has never been a reported, scientifically proved transmission of HIV mouth to penis. That doesn't mean it can't happen, but it does mean the risk is exceedingly low. And the fingering episode also was zero risk, regardless of your open blister. In addition, you should take your partner's reassurance seriously: people rarely lie about HIV or STD status when asked directly.

From a medical or risk perspective, you do not need testing at all and can safely continue unprotected sex with your wife. But of course you are free to be tested anyway, for reassurance. If you decide to have an HIV PCR test, I suggest waiting until 11-12 days; ten days is just a bit early for conclusive results.

Your symptoms are not worrisome. The symptoms of a new HIV infection do not include "itchy spots".

In summary, please don't worry. If somehow I were in your situation, I would not get tested and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without any fear I could infect her with HIV.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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13 months ago

Sorry I think this is my last question due to not adding the last bit of my question onto my first question.

I didn’t finger it was giving him a handjob and 8 hours before I had fluid filled blister which I burst so it was an open wound in a sense.

Also my exposure happened on the 3rd of July and I have already booked an appointment for the 13 of July which they are not allowing me to change and i have already paid for the appointment out of worry and it was a lot of money. I will still try and change the appointment again. I have met the person again just to ask him about the situation he still denies any penetration happened and he said he tested negative on a home postal kit 2 weeks ago and he tests twice a year and that I am worrying for no reason. I feel abit better after the conversation I had with him however I still have. Slight doubt in my mind and a lot of what ifs going around my mind. The spots that I describe are like itchy bites sports on the cheeks and at the back of my head. Sorry for trying to push all this in one question as I don’t have anymore left. I called the clinic and they said 10 days is all you need we cannot change the appointment for you unless you pay again l. Doomed!!

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

13 months ago

Thanks for the additional information. It doesn't change my evaluation or advice. Of course giving someone a handjob is zero risk for HIV, with or without open sores on the hand. You can go ahead with the PCR test at 10 days.

"Doomed" is nonsense; you can be sure the test will be negative. Perhaps it also will help you to know that in the 20 years of this and our previous forum, with thousands of questions from people worried about possible HIV, not one has yet turned out to be infected. You will not be the first. If and when it happens, I'm sure it will be a genuine high risk event and nothing like the sort of exposure you have described.

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13 months ago

Honestly I don’t know where to begin my worries and anxiety has got a hold of me and I’m due to test tomorrow hiv pcr test. I have spots on my face that are very itchy and blister up and scab over very irritated face. I haven’t been able to go to the toilet for a number 2 I tried to but it comes out very soft and I noticed a stringy bit in my poo that I pulled from my fingers don’t know whether it’s something that I ate or whether it could be his ejaculation bare in mind this was seen a day or 2 later after the exposure Could this quite possibly mean I was penetrated I’m so lost in thought and try and close my eyes to remember what happened but i missing a lot of information in my mind. Once I take this test tomorrow can i close the book there or should I carry out testing? I’m really lost in thought and have no motivation to do anything but google. Thank you guys for you help

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

13 months ago

I cannot and will not speculate with you about whether or not penetration occurred. None of your symptoms goes along with a new HIV infection, and there is no way your altered stool has anything to do with someone's ejaculate. Your symptoms are typical for the physical manifestations of anxiety. Your test will be negative. When it is, you can stop worrying.

Normally threads are closed after two follow-up questions and replies, and we're there. However, given your extreme anxiety, I'm leaving it open so you can tell me when you get your negative test result. But no other comments of any kind, please; if you post anything other than your test result, the thread will be closed with no further discussion.

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13 months ago

Hi thank you for leaving this open to post my results well I had a 10 day pcr hiv 1 qualative test done combined with a hiv 1 & 2 p24 antigen screening. Both results back negative. I just wanted to ask whether you think I should put this behind me now and not concentrate on rashes on my hands. He also went and tested with a hiv duo test and his test came back negative can I be confident that I am absolutely fine to sleep with my wife now. I actually did the right thing and paid for him to get tested. But I think I’m more in need of anxiety therapy because I keep thinking maybe he got someone else to do the test but I think is all stupid thinking and I should move forward with my life now and put this behind me.

Thank you so much for being here for us when we have no hope left you guys lift our spirits for us and help us move forward thank you for your patience and understanding and I hope I don’t come back here again.

Well come back to read the questions and answer but nothing else.

Once again thank you for your help take care.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

13 months ago

Glad to hear about your negative test results, but of course it could not have been otherwise. "I just wanted to ask whether you think I should put this behind me now and not concentrate on rashes on my hands." That was my advice at the start and I haven't changed my mind!

Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad to have helped. Best wishes and stay safe, as you have been doing.

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