Your symptoms are not typical for ARS. And although you don't say where you are, in the US and other industrialized countries, HIV remains very rare in men who have sex only with women, even among those with large numbers of partners. So it probably is very unlikely your partner has HIV.

The skin rash of ARS is not urticaria (hives); the usual explanation, as your dermatologist probably told you, is allergy to something. Sore throat can occur with all sorts of minor viral infections, and vaginal yeast infections are common regardless of sexual risks, HIV, etc. Your oral herpes (cold sore) outbreak could be a reaction to any common respiratory virus, or to whatever is causing your urticaria. Night sweats fit with any of the innumerable things that can cause fever. All in all, your symptoms definitely do not meet standard criteria for ARS and probably are entirely unrelated to your partner -- or conceivably you acquired a cold or similar virus from him, but not HIV. Your symptoms also do not fit well with any other STI. (I assume you have a history of recurrent cold sores, right?)

All that said, it would make sense for you to be tested for common STIs, including HIV -- if only for reassurance. Specifically, I would advise testing for gonorrhea and chlamydia (vaginal swab) and for HIV and syphilis. If your sexual practices recently included giving oral sex to your partner, a throat swab for gonorrhea testing also makes sense. However, the main reason for testing is your sexual exposures, not on account of your symptoms. You also could speak with your partner -- assuming you still are in touch with him -- and ask him to be tested. If he tests negative for HIV, you'll know you were not at risk.

As for test timing, the gonorrhea/chlamydia tests can be done any time. You don't say how long ago your last sexual contact was -- but if 3 weeks or more, a negative HIV test will be over 90% conclusive -- although you'll need to wait until 6 weeks to have a definitely conclusive result with the standard antigen-antibody (4th generation) HIV blood test.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thanks doc your comments are reassuring. The sex has been just vaginal sex.

 

Threads normally are closed after two follow-up comments and replies. However, I'll leave it open for one more comment -- but ONLY for you to let me know your test results.