Last week I noticed a swollen lymph node (maybe two just right next to each other) on my neck and I’ve been delaying what I feel is the inevitable by not testing. 

The exposure in question would be in early September 2023 with my then boyfriend. I am a woman. We engaged in vaginal penetration with a condom however during the transition of switching positions he noticed the condom slipped off of him and was still in my vagina. He took it out and we didn’t have any more sex after that. I tried to get PEP afterwards but the pharmacy was unable to have it ready before the 72 hour deadline so I didn’t take it. I’m not sure of his status because we actually broke up in January and I have reached out to try and get him to test but he says he has no need to (any advice in trying to convince him otherwise would be appreciated). We do both also have herpes. 

Anyways now 11 months later I’ve noticed I have a swollen lymph node on my neck and of course I’ve begun spiraling. I did go to the doctor but with normal blood tests (including WBC coming back normal) and no noticeable infection, he says there’s no need to worry. He tested for chlamydia and gonno but no HIV or Syphilis. 

I do have a history of bad dental hygiene including cavities and advanced gingivitis that I feel MAY contribute to the lymph node swelling but I’m not entirely sure that’s possible. 

As far as I am aware this right side of my neck is the only area where I have swollen lymph nodes. They’re not huge but they’re definitely there. They’re not painful either unless I poke for a long time. 

Is it possible these lymph nodes are a manifestation of HIV? Or could it be something else? Are my chances of infection high with my previous experience? Do you recommend testing immediately? And how likely do you think it is I’ll test negative? 

Thank you. 

Lymph node swelling is an entirely non-specific finding. Nearly everyone has left nodes that can be felt from time to time. In addition, anyone who has a problem such as a dental infection or even a cold can get lymph node swelling in the neck. a person seeking evaluation for swollen, non-tender lymph nodes, far less less than one percent of those people turn out to have HIV despite what might be found on the Internet.

We receive many questions about swollen lymph nodes on the Forum but to our knowledge no one with concerns about swollen lymph nodes has ever been found to have HIV. I sincerely doubt that you have HIV. My advice would be for you to get tested at this time. I am confident that the test will be negative which would prove that you’re swollen with is not due to HIV.

EWH

Even with the details of the exposure (which is a slipped condom) you’re sure I’ll test negative? I appreciate the reassurance I just want to confirm that’s what you’re saying. 

Also to add my lymph node isn’t painful but the areas around it are. Specifically my jaw, and under the jaw “double chin area” and my neck although the pain comes and goes. My teeth and gums also experience momentarily pain here and there. I do have jaw clenching tendencies and when I told all this to my doctor he said more than likely the pain is the clenching and to try a mouthguard? Is this type of pain common in lymph nodes with HIV? 

I do intend on following up with the doctor and dentist I just want a second opinion. 

Unfortunately I am scared of also going to test for HIV so again I just want you to keep in mind the details of the exposure and this pain and if it sounds like I could still test negative? 

Thank you. 

The lymph node swelling discomfort you describe is not in anyway characteristic of HIV. Persons who have lymph node enlargement due to HIV have no tenderness.

Please don’t be scared to test. Testing in no way changes whether or not you have HIV. If you do not have HIV, a result is provides a great sense of relief. On the other hand, if you happen to have HIV, which I am confident you do not, a positive test result would allow you to begin life changing therapy. Please don’t not test. There is no advantage to doing that. EWH. 

Like I said before the lymph node itself doesn’t tend to be painful, instead the entire area around it from my jaw to collarbone has pain that comes and go. Does this still sound uncharacteristic of HIV and like it’s another problem? 

Also is it reassuring that WBC and all other blood tests like Lymphcites are normal? Like I said it’s been a year since “exposure” 

Also would it be more reassuring if I had only the swollen lymph node on my neck? It’s the only confirmed one I have but I do have these fatty “swollen” pockets on either side of my groin that I’m not sure if they are lymph nodes are not. The ones on my neck have a kind of “pin point” end to them whereas the area on my groin feels longer like a vein or tendon so I’m unsure. Would it be more concerning if they were? Would that change your opinion on possible results of my test? 

And I do agree I need to test either way I’m just trying to build up the bravery. I’m hoping to convince my ex partner to go, but if he doesn’t soon I’ll do so myself. 

What’s the statistical risk from a condom that slipped off of him but stayed inside me? From a presumably straight man and I think he had one  sexual partner before me and after he last got tested. 

The discomfort that you are experiencing below your jaw and in that area is not in any way characteristic of HIV.

It is always good news when your blood counts are normal. Person s with HIV however can have normal Blood counts. As I’ve already said however, I am confident you did not have HIV.

Most people have lymph nodes that can be felt in their groin or, when examined by an experience clinician, in their neck however the lymph node swelling associated with HIV is widespread and quite obvious. The lymph node swelling you describe really is not suggestive of HIV, no matter what the Internet says. 

Finally, if you had sex with a person infected with HIV, who was untreated, your risk of acquiring that infection is less than one in 2000, on average. In other words, even if your partner did have HIV, following a single encounter in which the condoms slipped off, there would still be a more than 99.9% Probability that you would not be infected. 

I look forward to hearing your test results. As I’ve already said, I am confident they will be negative. EWH.

And to anybody with similar concerns reading I’d encourage you to get tested too and BELIEVE your results. I’m partially speaking to myself as well. I was convinced these confirmed swollen lymph nodes meant certainty but nothing but a conclusive test can confirm whether you’re negative or not. 

Closing the thread now.  Take care.  EWH