2 days ago I had an encounter with a girl. Protected oral took place so I think that went fine with some anal fingering. What bothers me and my silly mind are two things. After I took out my finger from her anus it might be that i put that finger around my penis in pubic area. At that time i still wore the protection. And the scond thing would me that after i took the protection off i started to masturbate me and her so some of the vaginal fluids ended up on my penis. During this part she spit 3 times on her hand while she was masturbating me and it might be that one or two of those times her lips were too close to my penis (fear of herpes and all other skin to skin stds). And she tried to suck it without the protection and it was really a second when i said no. My penis never went that deep in her mouth/ throat. I do have a LT partner that brestfeeds so I am very woried to have sex with her. Maybe due to my anxiety, this this stupid mistake is making my life a living hell. I think when i was a kid that i had a cold sore (hsv1) if that info might help. I repeat no vagial, anal intercourse took place or anything else other what I wrote about.

Would you have a normal unprotected intercourse with your LT partner if you were me what are my chances for catching some std???

Please help me, this is unbeareable,

Thanks in advance,

You describe a sexual exposure with little or no risk for HIV or any other STI. You are worrying too much about indirect contacts:  there is no signifiant risk with contact of your fingering her anus, even with subsequent contact with your penis. Not enough STI bacteria and viruses can be carried to infect the newly contacted area. And her mouth being near your penis doesn't matter either. Even direct oral sex -- if she had taken your penis in her mouth -- carries no risk for HIV and only low risk for other STIs.

I see no risk for your long term partner. No testing is necessary. If somehow I were in your situation, I would continue unprotected sex with my wife with absolutely no worry that I could transmit any infection to her.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD