Today is day 8 after hand-genital contact in massage. Reading this site, that was a no/theoretical-only risk scenario. Some sources online disagree. I have not had any big lesions, but minor symptoms: a) a small line of redness along the corona of the penis. There are normal whitish small bumps always there that go around the entire corona, but on one side these have some red, irritated skin underneath, but no broken skin that I can tell; b) an on/off tender, tingling, pricking, stinging sensation in the same place; c) last night (day 7), I barely slept and was sick with intense nausea (anxiety?). Of course am concerned for myself, but more for my partner and baby, who I would not want to risk transmitting this to.

1. Can there be a HSV2 infection without true lesions, but with other mild symptoms? An Australian government resource says it can "appear as a small area of rash, cracked skin, or some other skin condition on the genitals," which may explain what I have.

2. I read some primary infections are "asymptomatic," but are they truly asymptomatic or are people just not noticing minor evidence of an infection like what I've described? 

3. Can the virus ever cause subsurface irritation that never actually breaks the skin?

4. I have had HSV1 for 20yrs, could my antibodies have lessened the severity of a primary HSV2 outbreak?

5. If someone has a shedding sore(s) on their hand and touches another person's genitals, wouldn't that present a significant risk of infection? The usual assumptions are that this person would not touch another (because it's "bad for business") or it would not be allowed by the touchee (because the sores would be obvious); what if we assumed the opposite, which may have happened here?

6. What antiviral would help suppress the infection and prevent transmission until conclusive testing can be done? Again, my most important concern is not spreading further.

1. Can there be a HSV2 infection without true lesions, but with other mild symptoms? An Australian government resource says it can "appear as a small area of rash, cracked skin, or some other skin condition on the genitals," which may explain what I have.

Your symptoms do not sound like HSV at all to me, especially with the kind of contact that you had

2. I read some primary infections are "asymptomatic," but are they truly asymptomatic or are people just not noticing minor evidence of an infection like what I've described? 

Some are truly without symptoms, primarily in people who have prior HSV 1 infection, and some misattribute their symptoms to something else entirely

3. Can the virus ever cause subsurface irritation that never actually breaks the skin?

That is possible, yes, but far less likely with a primary infection

4. I have had HSV1 for 20yrs, could my antibodies have lessened the severity of a primary HSV2 outbreak?

Yes

5. If someone has a shedding sore(s) on their hand and touches another person's genitals, wouldn't that present a significant risk of infection? The usual assumptions are that this person would not touch another (because it's "bad for business") or it would not be allowed by the touchee (because the sores would be obvious); what if we assumed the opposite, which may have happened here?

It could have happened here, but herpes whitlow is generally quite painful and somewhat unsightly so I doubt this occured.  Of all the people who have worried about transmission of HSV through hands, I've not seen one test positive on the gold standard western blot if that has been their only contact.

6. What antiviral would help suppress the infection and prevent transmission until conclusive testing can be done? Again, my most important concern is not spreading further.