Hi there,

I had oral sex and vaginal sex with a girl I was dating for about three weeks, who is originally from South America, immigrated to Canada where I live. I wore a condom during the vaginal sex.  Because I wore a condom I did not think it would bother me, but now I am very anxious.

I asked her about sti status, she said she was clean but she didn't specify what tests or when. I should have been more specific. I am really upset at myself. Anyways,

- I know I have been told that unless I have unprotected sex I won't be at risk for HIV, but I used a condom that I got for free from a friend who got it at a sexual health clinic. What if it was expired or defective or had small holes? I did not see any tears after use but did not check it with a great deal of detail. Is HIV testing recommended? Are condoms effective? I want to be responsible and healthy.

- what is the earliest I can get an HIV test that is considered conclusive? It has only been three weeks since the sexual activity.

Thanks in advance.

Let’s review some important points about the exposure you describe:

1.  Your partner was low risk. She sold you told you that she had been tested for STI‘s and I presume HIV. Furthermore, you have known her for three weeks and should have some insight as to her reliability. Finally, STI NHI rates are relatively low in women.

2.  In the unlikely event that she had an infection, most osiers to infected persons to not lead to infection.

3.  You used a condom for vaginal sex and condoms are highly protective. Your concerns about condom failure represent your OCD. When condoms fail they break open, they do not “leak a little”.  Your vaginal exposure was virtually no risk.

4. Receipt of unprotected oral sex is also no risk for HIV. As you have been told in the past, there are no proven cases of HIV acquired from receiving oral sex.

In your situation, personally, I see no risk for HIV testing. If you feel you must test, an HIVRNAPCR test would be virtually conclusive anytime more than 11 days after your exposure. If you test with a 4th generation, combination IV antigen/antibody test, results will be totally conclusive at six weeks.

I hope this repeated information is helpful to you. I see no reason for anxiety and hope that you will be able to move forward without concerns. EWH.