We are very aware of the HIV situation in your country and in Southern Africa in general. (My personal research and consulting experience is in Zimbabwe.) I agree there's a good chance your partner indeed has HIV:  both failure to test regularly despite her sexual history and her refusal of your request to be tested point in that direction. However, you apparently are unaware of the numerical risk of sexual transmission of HIV. When a female has untreated HIV, the average transmission chance for each episode of unprotected vaginal sex is under one chance in a thousand. (In fact, a common estimate is only one chance in 2,500.) It certainly was right for you to be tested for HIV; in fact, had you sought care within 72 hours of the event, you should have been prescribed post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to prevent HIV.

In any case, the antigen-antibody (AgAb, "4th generation") HIV blood tests are highly accurate. Your negative result at 20 days was nearly 90% conclusive that you were not infected, 33 day ~99%, and 49 day 100% conclusive. You did not need the next test and certainly not the one at 91 days. The frequency of false-positive test results is low, but not zero -- as you have learned. However, the confirmatory tests done in this situation are highly reliable. You can trust that final result, and the judgment of the doctors or clinic responsible for your care. It is certain you did not acquire HIV.

Your other negative test results also are conclusive:  for sure you do not have gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis or HCV. (In fact HCV is rarely if ever heterosexually transmitted -- a common misunderstanding. The only proved sexual transmission scenario is in men having potentially traumatic rectal sexual practices with other men.)

Those comments answer questions 1 and 2. As for question no. 3, the reasons for rare false positive AgAb HIV blood tests are unknown -- or if there is recent research on this, I am unaware of it. However, it is 100% clear that the result truly is false, i.e. that HIV infection is absent, and that no other adverse health consequences are known. In any case, it sounds like you are in skilled, knowledgeable care that you can trust. Perhaps they can answer this as well or better than I can. But it really should no longer be a cause of worry.

As for your final "most important" question, HIV is never transmitted in household or by non-intimate contact with infected persons or with blood or body fluids in the environment. Saliva does not transmit HIV. And of course sore throat is an exceedingly common symptom of day to day minor viruses, especially in young kids. You really should not be worried about this. That said, you could bring up these concerns with your baby's doctor -- she probably would understand and might go along with an HIV test to reassure you. But truly this should not be a cause of worry. (Don't let your own stress and anxiety over your own situation color your judgment about your child and his health!)

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Thanks dr hunter. I really appreciate your answers and trust them. And its great to know that you have a research around my country. I am lucky to have your reply, indeed you're a great doc. I watched your few hsv videos on youtube. Just few more question i hope you dont want to punch me.  

 i have seen few contradictions in between   infectious diseases doctors. For example,

I have seen dr bob recommending3 months testing to someone with low risk for example unprotected vaginal sex with unknown status. And 6 months to someone with anal sex. Does that mean infection through anal take longer to detect in the blood? Because infection is a infection whether through urethera or anal, it should take same time to spread in the blood? I am confused in that bit.

2 -do you have the same above reccomendation or do you advise straight forward regardless of the risk for instance, if i would have told you i was the anal receiver and the guy with unknown status ejaculted inside me HOWEVER, my 49 day hiv lab test came negative. would you reccomend further testing?

( Also, do you think my 2 confirmatory diagnostic tests after false reactive would have been more sensitive and specific to initial screening ag/ab lab test. )?

3- how confident are you that my results would change at 6 months or 8 months offcourse assuming the only above exposure? I did not take pep or any medication.

4- no matter what symptoms i have at present or in the future wouldnt be because of hiv.

5- i know hiv does not transmit through saliva to adults but my worries are does that apply to infants too??? Since their immune system is very fragile till 12 months of age.

2-6. None of these issues makes any difference. The test results show you weren't infected and overrule everything:  no matter how high the risk at the time, no matter what symptoms are present, or anything else you can think of, you do not have HIV. It is not possible you infected your wife. You were not infected -- period, full stop. Believe it, accept it, and do not ask again.

Thanks for the clarification. It am talking about dr bob francisco who passed away in 2011.

Also, the question above i asked in terms of my son immune system wasn't answered. I have only contacted you about my baby's question.

My question is
5- i know hiv does not transmit through saliva to adults but my worries are does that apply to infants too??? Since their immune system is very fragile till 12 months of age. ?

And, can i resume unprotected sex again with my wife?

I am asking you as a worried father. I hope you reply. I feel like my last questions have made you annoyed.

This would be my last question to you. I hope you have a good day ahead.

Nobody in your house will ever get HIV until and unless there is sex while there.

I already answered about sex with your wife. I see no need to repeat myself.

What makes us annoyed is when users ask for our professional opinion, get the answers they seek, then don't read them carefully. EVERYTHING you asked is clear either in direct response to the question, or from other information provided in discussion.

You've been through a bit of extra trauma on account of your false negative test result. But you should be through all that by now. If you remain concerned, I would encourage you to carefully read every word of this discussion; then if any uncertainty persists, ask your doctors. In the meantime, please believe you did not acquire HIV and nobody in your household is now at risk for it.

Best wishes and stay safe.