So for the question: am I overreacting in regard to the kissing? Would it be likely to pass herpes or syphilis through intense kissing in the absence of a sore? I may have more questions regarding testing windows and conclusivity, but for the sake of brevity, I’ll leave it for a follow up. Thank you.

Cunnilingus (oral-vaginal contact) is just about the lowest risk sexual practice of all -- probably not much more risk than kissing. I've never been aware of a single case of gonorrhea, chlamydia, or any other STD in either the vaginal or oral partner after cunnilingus. (Dr Hook was the senior investigator on a research study that found little risk for gonorrhea.) If you had asked before now, I would have said there was no need to test for any STD, but it's nice to hear your gonorrhea/chlamydia tests were negative. And the chance of herpes, without symptoms, is near zero as well.

Based on the combination of almost no risk plus your negative tests, there is no chance you infected your wife. And kissing is virtually zero risk anyway; she would not be infected even if you were. As for HIV, also zero risk or close to it:  to my knowledge, there has never been a reported scientifically documented case of HIV transmission by cunnilingus. Your HIV RNA test was unnecessary but will be negative. In addition, the likelihood your CSW partner had HIV or syphilis also was very low.

So in response to your main question, you indeed are overreacting. There is no realistic chance you have any of the infections you mention (or any other STD) or that your regular partner has been infected. If any tests in the "full panel" happen to be positive, it will not be from the Sept 18 event. I advise no more testing for either of you. Therefore -- and in reply to your closing comment -- I really wouldn't worry about window periods. Please do not have any more tests for anything.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

For my peace of mind, I will still test for herpes and syphilis in 4 weeks time to be absolutely sure, but I appreciate the vote of confidence. 

The herpes blood tests are not conclusive until 3 months after exposure.

As for "some clarification" my comments above were specially about the risks of cunnilingus, i.e. you performing unprotected oral sex on your partner. Vaginal and anal intercourse are much higher risk; fellatio (oral to penis) is low risk, but not as low as cunningus. As my comments above make clear, even if a female partner has an STD, it is rarely transmitted by oral sex. And contrary to what you seem to assume, at any point in time most sex workers have no transmissible STD. And when infection is present, for most STDs it it not always transmitted. For example, if a woman has untreated HIV, the risk for a single episode of unprotected vaginal sex is under one chance in 2,000. For herpes due to HSV2, it's about one chance in a thousand. Bacterial STDs like gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis are more frequently transmitted, but still not usually.

Let me know if anything else remains unclear.

1) This does not happen. There is no such thing.

2) See above.

If your symptoms continue and/or you remain concerned about them, I suggest seeing a physician. I would imagine they would agree with my assessment, and perhaps advise professional counseling.

That completes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Best wishes and stay safe.