On one hand, all the exposures you describe are considered zero risk for HIV, which is not known to be transmitted sexually except with penile penetration, i.e. vaginal or anal sex, and very rarely by oral sex (penis to oral). Kissing, frontage (body rubbing), genital-genital or genital-anal contact without penetration, and exposure to saliva are believed to be no risk. I doubt exposure of your eczema to infected semen or other body fluids significantly raises the chance of infection.

On the other hand, the viral load of HIV in infected persons is highest in the early stages of infection, especially the first 2-6 weeks, and you already know that exposure to newly infected persons carries the greatest risk of transmission. There are no data by which to calculate the percentage increase, so I cannot comment on the numerical risks you describe. But apparently you have had several exposures of the kinds you describe.

My advice is, first, to cease even these kinds of contact, at least until he is on effective anti-HIV treatment and documented to have a low viral load. And second, to see an HIV expert doctor or clinic for personal advice. You should at least be tested for HIV, and perhaps post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) would be advised if any of these events occurred within the preceding 72 hours. Assuming your partner is getting care for his HIV infection, perhaps you should consider seeing the same doctor or clinic and getting personalized advice as a couple.

Do not misinterpret this advice. The chance you are infected, or will be if you continue similar sexual practices, is very low. But still, negative test results undoubtedly would help ease your worry.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Hi Doctor, thanks for your prompt response.

I hope I’m not splitting hairs here, I did cease such practices once I found he might have a problem, but do you mean high viral load due to recent infection can make a zero-risk event become a low risk event (which might require PEP)? If so, does it apply to kissing as well? I’m asking because the last time we had intimate contact, we kissed, but nothing else, I might need to take it into consideration now to defer my window period for testing.

After his test result, we had meals together, his spit might come into contact with my lip as we talked emotionally, we touched each other (with eczema on my hand), should I be concerned about that too or it is not a concern no matter how high his viral load is?

Touching and sharing meals is zero risk of course, even if some of your partner's saliva were to get on the food.

I don't understand what is so mysterious about my advice. I would think you would value the reassurance you likely would get in being tested for HIV. But of course that's up to you.

For sure I will get tested, I actually had received Ag/Ab duo test & RNA test and the result came back negative today, it’s just a bit too early (14 days / 10 days from last exposure where genital fluids were involved). 

That completes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question and so ends this thread. I hope the discussion has been helpful. Best wishes and stay safe.