So I went to a commercial sex worker to get a handjob well it turned into them spitting on there hand and then rubbing it on my penis. The side of there lip also touched the side of my penis breifly.. it was dark so I could not notice any activite sores. It was a lady maybe in her 40s or 50s. I am most worried about stds because I am married with children and I would want to die if I get something and spread it to them. I realize this was really stupid. I was wondering when you would recommend testing and when would the test be conculusive. I have never had any systems and my wife is clean. Do u think I can still get intimate with my wife or is it too risky until I’m tested. The ones that worrying me the most are herpes and syphillis. If I could go back I would but I can’t. Please let me know how to proceed. My penis never actually went inside there entire mouth. Thank you.

This event was entirely free of STD risk. Saliva rarely if ever transmits STDs, and certainly has never been known to do so by hand-genital contact with saliva as lubricant. Even using genital fluids as lubricant is risk free:  not enough bacteria can be carried over, and intact skin is resistant to infection. I advise no testing at all and no change in your sexual practices with your wife. No STD causes the sort of rash or skin reddening you describe.

Even if you had been infected somehow, there would be no cause for worry about your children's health. STDs never are spread to nonsexual household contacts even after years of sharing toilets, showers, towels, eating utensils, etc; and after any normal parent-child physical contact.

These issues have all been discussed innumerable times on the forum. You can use the search function to find terms like "saliva", "oral sex", "masturbation", and "hand-genital contact" to find additional information.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

though I still feel very guilty I am surprised you are so confident that I didn’t get any stds especially considering the brief moment her lip brushes up against my penis. I am just wondering are you so sure that did t matter because it wasn’t for long enough or what. I have been most worried about syphillis and herpes. I know you said I don’t need to test but if I wanted to when can I be confident in the results. Thank you.