[Question #12459] Cant remember unprotected vaginal sex 7 years ago

7 months ago

Good morning.

I hope you doing well and in good health.

This is different than the protected sex, fingering and frottage.

I went to Malaysia in 2017, 7 years ago. I went to massage place and the guy there lined 6 girls to pick one and have a massage. I remember having massage and body touching as well as 15 seconds oral. I try hard to remember if we had sex even with a condom but i cant. It was my first time meeting a girl naked in my life and i was a virgin. I think i didn’t have unprotected sex because you fear of pregnancy and diseases but i cant remember. I never thought about that day ever up until couple of days ago, i dont know if its anxiety and i would definitely remember i lost my virginity unprotected. I remember and i thought i lost my virginity 4 years ago protected sex. Plus im the person that finishes really quickly, with the protected sex it took me 3 minutes or 4.

Now- God forbid if i got HIV before 7 years ago, will i know about it from the signs like i will be seriously ill. I spoke with infectious diseases doctor online that specializes in STD/HIVand he said you wont be here typing instead you will be in a hospital bed seriously ill and with a priest if you are religious. I only had 1 protected sex my entire life and i cant remember the 7 years ago, 90% it didn’t happen. Because he said no way you got HIV this long and you are okay. I was like let me speak with the experts.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

7 months ago

Welcome back to the forum. However, having reviewed your three questions and Dr. Hook's replies 7 months ago I think you know the answers to these questions. If you re-read those discussions you'll see that your questions now really were answered at that time.

"I try hard to remember if we had sex even with a condom but I can't." I'm sure you would remember if this experienced included unprotected vaginal or anal sex, and oral sex is no risk for HIV even without a condom. In other words, I agree with your own statement " i would definitely remember i lost my virginity unprotected."

" will i know about it from the signs like i will be seriously ill?" Yes. I agree exactly with the ID doctor you spoke with online. Seven years after catching HIV, you undoubtedly would be very ill by now, maybe dead.

There is no possibility you have HIV. However, it would seem you haven't been tested for it. Based on the tone of your questions, I'm pretty sure that my assurance you do not have HIV will not solve your fears; only a negative test results would do that. So I strongly advise you be tested for HIV. The result will be negative.

HHH, MD

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7 months ago

Thanks for answering.

1- i read that some people had HIV for 10+ years and didn’t know about it and weren’t showing symptoms or sick or they are mistaken when they got it?

2- what are the signs of serious ill person, like what would you have? I have 3 lymph nodes on my neck that are small and unchanged for years and some gastrointestinal symptoms like too much gases and on/off constipation and prostatitis ( CPPS)

3- i know this not your expertise but undoubtfully would i know i lost virginity or had sex unprotected like what are the signs that can help me remember or that i did it.

4- about the untreated HIV, how long a person live without medication, on the internet it says 15 years.

5- i see too many videos and post on youtube that women dont transmit HIV vaginally but the same risk for both genders if they did anal, and that too many womens had untreated HIV and they had too many unprotected sex with their husbands and never transmit for years. One said vagina is meant to be penetrated whereas anal is not meant to be penetrated and its so easy to bleed. Is it true about women dont transmit to men vaginally?

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

7 months ago

1. This can happen but is very rare.

2. Far too complex for a brief answer. Lots of information is available online. The symptoms you list do not suggest HIV.

3. Correct, not my expertise. You're the only one who can judge this.

4. Some infected people, called "elite controllers", survive indefinitely without treatment and without symptoms. It's very rare. But it's one reason you might consider being tested for reassurance.

5. You need to stop searching the internet about all this. Like many anxious persons, you're only fueling your fears. But of course women can transmit HIV to men by vaginal sex.

I've given you my main advice, to be tested for HIV. I will have no further comments or advice unless and until you have been tested for HIV and let me know the result. Any other comment on this thread will result in its deletion without further reply.

Please note the forum policy against repeated anxiety driven questions. This being your fourth with mostly the same questions, it must be your last; repeated anxiety driven questions are deleted without reply and without refund of the posting fee. This policy is based on compassion, not criticism; repeated answers often tend to prolong anxiety rather than relieving it. In addition, such questions have limited educational value for other users, one of the forum's goals. Thank you for your understanding.

Threads are closed after two follow-up comments or four weeks, whichever comes first. So let me know your test result before then, or you won't have the opportunity to do so at all.

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7 months ago

I really apologize for coming back and you told me to test and I will but this today’s concern is different than the previous 3 discussion. I deeply hope you dont shut me do.

I really just want to know what are the chances after 7 years if it happened the unprotected vaginal sex that after all this years without showing any serious symptoms illness like recurrent pneumonia that i will end up infected, in your 30+ years of your expertise in this field, have a patient showed up having HiV this long year 7+ and didn’t show any signs of it or serious ill. I understand i need to test to believe i wasnt infected. I fully understand i have to get tested but help me to think rationally about this to put my worries in control.

Please.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

7 months ago

The only question in these comments asks me to repeat what you have already been advised. "I really just want to know what are the chances after 7 years if it happened the unprotected vaginal sex that after all this years without showing any serious symptoms illness like recurrent pneumonia that i will end up infected." The answer is zero: there is no chance you have HIV in these circumstances. Whether or not I or Dr. Hook have seen or heard of a situation like yours is irrelevant: it is exceedingly rare. Perhaps you also would like to know that in the 21 years of this and our preceding forum, with thousands of questions worried about having HIV, not one has yet turned out to be infected. You will not be the first. If and when it finally happens, I am confident it will be someone with a genuinely high risk exposure, and not near zero risks.

The moderators and not the users will continue to determine what questions are considered repetitive and/or anxiety driven. The circumstances of this question and your previous ones are different, main problem in all of them and all our replies have emphasized your very exaggerated worries and anxieties about HIV.

That concludes this thread. If you remain concerned, get tested; and go back and read every detail of the replies to all three of your threads. But I'll make a deal with you: if you ever get tested and the result is positive, please return to let us know -- and we will refund your posting fee.

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