[Question #12570] Orogenital/Oral HPV

7 months ago

27 f, unvaccinated, 2 years ago having had 1 instance of oral sex ( receiving) and many frensh kisses with the tongue with an ex male partner of unknown STI history (had a previous relationship with a woman and possible relationship with another male/males ) all ended before our relationship. Now after 2yrs of ending the relationship, I have 1 skin abnormality in the area where skin folds between my thigh and pubic area (diagnosed by a gynecologist as skin tag and 2 family doctors ) and another undiagnosed presistant little red pump on the gumline and little pumps under the tongue (tongue colored, might be just normal?). I’ll have them checked.

My new male partner has no previous relationships and expects that I didn’t sleep with anyone (Indeed I have never had penetrative sex but there are things he doesn’t know, that’s what I told him). It could endanger my social/family life if I disclose any details to him about recieving oral or kissing.

I’m worried I have an a dormant STI, especially HPV and one day infecting him and it shows on him or god forbids leads to cancer. What are my chances of having oral and/or genital HPV or any other STI if the ex had them orally? And what are the chances that I infect my new long-term partner?

I’m so overwhelmed with anxiety and guilt of being dishonest to my new partner and have no selfworth because of these instances and really worried of an infection destroying my new beautiful relationship but also my social/ family life. I go to therapy but really need your answers!

Thanks in advance!!

7 months ago

Forgot to mention, I purchased an at home STD testing including everything also HPV ( vaginal swap) and blood test for HSV1&2 and HIV and all the other infections and for all of them it turned out negative. Does that prove/ change anything?

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

6 months ago

Welcome to the forum. Thank you for your confidence in our services.

The sexual events you describe two years ago were little or no risk at all for any STD. Cunnilingus rarely transmits any infection, both because oral STDs are uncommon, so your partner probably wasn't orally infected; and even when oral STDs are present, the superficial nature of the contact is far lower risk than is penile penetration for transmission of STD from male to female. The skin abnormalities you describe don't suggest any STD either. (As I write this, I am adjacent to a bookshelf that includes the title "Genital Dermatology Atlas". As the name implies, it's filled with photos. All STDs are covered in 15 of its 300 pages. In other words, STDs are very uncommon causes of genital skin problems.) And French kissing also is near zero risk for all STDs.

So the chance you have a "dormant STI", including active HPV infection, is very low. Almost certainly you have nothing you can transmit to your new partner. And in all honesty, I don't understand your discomfort or fear in discussing these concerns with your partner. Many couples these days routinely discuss their past sexual experiences, including previous STD, with their partners. The large majority of sexually active people understand and expect that their potential partners have had past sexual experiences; and for the most part it's not something that most persons care very much about. Of course people differ in this and I don't know either you or your partner. But truly I seen absolutely no reason for you to feel anxious or guilty about anything. (And certainly anything you and your partner is not likely to get back to others, i.e. to impact your social or family life.) But since you're worried about it,a nd you mention being in therapy, it would make sense to discuss these issues with your therapist. But in the meantime please try to stop worrying about your minimal past sexual experiences and near zero risk for HPV or any other STD.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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