[Question #12624] HIV Worry

6 months ago

Now married, living in Malaysia & had sex with a CSW (early 20s from Thailand) after drinks. Showered, fingered her in the shower, no visual signs of sores on her genitals. Dried ourselves, told her to put condom for BJ. 2 mins, she used KY lube before riding 5 mins then missionary another 5 mins. Visually inspected condom 3-4 times, including before/after coming. Carefully removed the condom, washed genitals with soap. Did not water test but condom was visually intact.

Wasnt worried about HIV initially. 2 days later I started feeling slightly “off”. No fever, swollen lymph nodes etc. No sores on genitals. Feeling a little warm at times but never caught fever. Please advise. Thank you

Edward W. Hook M.D.

6 months ago

Welcome to the Forum. Thanks for your questions and your confidence in our service. Congratulations on your practice of safe, condom protected sex. It will help you stay sexually healthy. This was a close to no risk encounter. Most CSWs do not have HIV or other STIs and even when they do, most single encounters do not result in transmission of infection. Your use of a condom for both receipt of oral sex and vaginal sex transform a low risk encounter into a virtually no risk event. I would not worry in the least.

The symptoms you describe are not particularly suggestive of HIV or other STI and they began too soon following your encounter to be HIV. I would not worry and do not feel strongly that you need to test although some of our clients appreciate the extra confidence that negative tests provide. You can test for common STIs like gonorrhea of chlamydia at this time and get conclusive results. To test for syphilis or HIV you'll need to wait until 4-6 weeks for your blood test to provide conclusive results.

As I said, I would not worry. I hope that the information I have provided is helpful. EWH

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6 months ago

Thank you Dr Hook.
I apologize for the short sentences, I had to summarize my question a lot due to the word limit.

Additional info:
Since Day 2 post exposure, I've been feeling "off". I suspect mainly due to anxiety and over worrying. The thought of losing my family over this episode is crippling.
Day 2 - experience slight muscle soreness/weakness. Hit the gym and felt perfectly fine. Muscle weakness lasted 4-5 days?

Day 3 - Had a slight itch at the base of my penis but it was gone the next day. No redness or sore.
Due to the stress also, I drank heavily that night (i suspect this contributed to muscle weakness and slight soreness)

Day 4 - Exercised again, felt normal.

Day 8 - Slightly itchy throat. Comes and goes. No sore throat per se.

We are at Day 15 since exposure. Throat is sometimes itchy. Otherwise, no fever, no swollen lymph nodes, no sores, no night chills. Physically I feel ok, sometimes i feel "warm" but it comes and goes. Temperature is normal. Could this be due to anxiety?

Have been drinking and eating more than usual over the last 2 weeks due to stress.

I guess my main concern is that could the condom be damaged due to the BJ? To my understanding, when condoms break during intercourse, it is very obvious. In this case it seemed visually intact throughout

6 months ago

Also, thank you for your reply. It is highly reassuring.

Just to add more info:

I had multiple sexual partners 2010-2017

Girlfriends: No condoms for BJ. Used condoms 90% of the time for sex.

CSW: 50% condoms for BJ. 100% condom use for sex.

In 2015 I had a condom break, which sent me into panic and a state of anxiety. I consulted you in a previous forum and your answers were very reassuring (helped with anxiety while waiting for the window period). Eventually I got tested -ve for HIV, and I've since only had one encounter with a CSW prior to getting married.

All these while, I never had any sores, no physical signs of STD on my penis, no fevers after any encounter.

Got married two years later, and I've been faithful and loyal.

In a moment of weakness, I succumbed to temptations and put myself in this position again.

I feel super guilty and anxious - I am wondering if being in this state can cause my body to feel slightly under the weather.

Oh yes I forgot to add, assuming the CSW was +ve, would her vaginal secretions pose any risk to me? Assuming she somehow damaged my penis skin (micro scratch) during BJ. Again, I checked for scratches on my penis after intercourse and couldn't see anything visible.

Lastly, I'm curious to know why you think testing for STIs like gonorrhea or chlamydia necessary. Based on your assessment, do you think I am at risk? Assuming the condom did not break. Again, there were no obvious visual signs that it tore or broke.

Thank you again Dr. Hook, I really appreciate you.

Edward W. Hook M.D.

6 months ago

Thank you for the additional information however, none of this changes my opinion or my assessment. What the information you provide does do, however is to suggest that you are prone to anxiety when you have a sexual encounter that you consider a . I continue to see no reason for concern. Your symptoms are not the least bit suggestive of HIV or any other STI.

I did not recommend testing. I said that if you choose to test to reduce your anxiety, then you could test at the times that I told you about. As I said many of our clients find that they appreciate the additional reassurance that negative tests provide. In the same vein, if you remain anxious despite my reassurance, you can test for HIV at this time. If any of the symptoms you describe were due to HIV a test would be positive at this time.

Please try to address your anxiety. EWH.

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6 months ago

Thank you again Dr. Hook for your very reassuring reply.

I apologize for misinterpreting your reply regarding testing. You are right, I seem to be prone to anxiety when I have sexual encounters I deem "risky", especially the one episode with the CSW when the condom broke. Your replies have reduced my anxiety tons and I woke up feeling much better.

Just one final question, based on all the information I have given & considering the risk (or lack thereof) do I require a HIV test from a Medical standpoint? I'm asking because I am wondering if it is safe to have unprotected sex with my wife (pull out).

To be clear, based on your answers, I am now confident that I should be good. I just wanted to know what you think about this and if I would be putting my wife at any risk at all. It's day 16 and no fevers, visible sores, swollen lymph nodes.

Obviously if my anxiety ever comes up again, I will take a test after the window period and that will be conclusive.

Thank you for helping me again Dr. Hook. I wish you well.

Edward W. Hook M.D.

6 months ago

Testing is always a personal decision however if I were in your shoes, I would not bother to test and would not hesitate to have unprotected sex with my regular partner.

As you know, we provide up to 3 responses to each client’s questions. Thus this thread will now be closed. There should be no need to return with further questions about this thread. Take care. Please don’t worry. EWH

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