[Question #1284] Risk and actions help needed!

49 months ago
Hello doctors, I hope you are fine.

Im writing because I need help. I made a huge mistake. Im a matried man and nonetheless I visited an escort. I did not hve penetrative sex, instead the session consisted in: a foot job. That is i used her feet to masturbate my penis until I ejaculated. At first i thought this was safe but many what ifs came to my head and its hard for me if they are rational or irrational. Assuming i couldnt have gotten the fluid base stds (I hope) what are the chances of me getting hpv, herpes or hiv? Should i test or disclose this to my wife and abstain sex? Please let me know whatnwould be approrpiate. Thanks so much.
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
49 months ago
Welcome back to the forum. Your question came in while I was logged in; most users should not expect nearly real time replies!

For purposes of STD transmission, you did not have sex. Without penetration of your penis into another person's vagina, rectum or mouth, you aren't at risk. STDs are not transmitted by such exposures as hand-genital contact (and certainly not foot-genital contact!), kissing, etc. Don't get tested and don't worry about infecting your wfie with anything from this event.

From an STD standpoint, there is for sure no reason to mention this event to your wife. However, some men in your situation would disclose outside sexual activities, because of the emotional relief it might bring. But this is a purely personal/relationship issue, not a medical one. So it's up to you.

From both your previous thread and this one, it appears you are very conflicted about your sexuality and sexual decisions. It sounds like a significant concern that probably is seriously affecting your life and happiness. Please consider professional counseling about it. I suggest it from compassion, not criticism. Among other things, professional advice may help decide whether and what to discuss with your wife.

Best wishes--  HHH, MD

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49 months ago
Wow, this reply was very quick!thanks so much doctor.

You re right in al respects and thats what I suspected. I do not mean to make you repeat yourself but even in cases of extensive circumstamces like hpv taking a hold of my penis skin from her feet or getting it from a door knob isnt plausible? Further. I did lick her toesand had cuts and nicks iny hands. I just want to cover all my bases but all in all it seems like it was a safe encounter. No hpv possible from this? Can i move on from this in your opinion?
49 months ago
Would you agree that footjobs are safer than handjobs regarding hpv?
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
49 months ago
Nobody ever gets HPV from contact in the environment, i.e. contacting doorknobs, towels used by infected persons, etc. If there is no genital contact, genital HPV doesn't happen.

HPV is the most common but the least important of all STDs. You could have it, since you had some pre-marital sexual exposures. But most infections never cause symptoms, never cause disease, and are cleared up by the immune system. If you and your wife are under age 26, you could consider being vaccinated to prevent infection with 9 of the most troublesome HPV types, including those that cause 90% of cancers and 90% of genital warts. But beyond that, just put HPV out of your mind. It's not worth all this worry!

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49 months ago
Do you think i would be the first person in the history to get  an std from a footjob? This ismy last message thans and have a wonderful weekend
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
49 months ago
I think you realize that's an irrational question. You might as well ask whether I think you will soon be hit by a meteorite. One probably is as likely as the other.

Thanks for the thanks. Do your bet to move on and consider my counseling recommendation if you cannot.


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