[Question #12904] Uneducated on Oral Sex

Avatar photo
4 months ago
Hello, Experts!

I am a 30 year old male. I have always been in relationships and never did the whole “hook up,” thing. I sadly, fell into temptation behind my girlfriend’s back and did deep kissing and got unprotected oral sex from a woman I met at the bar. 

I am FREAKING OUT! I am constantly washing my hands, using disposable cups, even avoiding touching my eyes in fear of spreading it. I won’t even look at my girlfriend, let alone kiss her. I am scared of oral STI’s or if I got an STI from her mouth on my penis.

I use the bathroom way too much and I try to “milk” my penis to see if discharge comes. Sometimes my pee stings, but I think I’m just so hyper focused that I’m feeling my pee too much? I also check my throat all the time with my phone light for white bumps/sores. I think I have a sore throat or I just focus on it too much.

I just got tested for my yearly doctors visit and I was Gonorrhea and Chlamydia negative on April 2nd. It’s been 10 days since my hook up and I have no discharge or open sores/bumps. Should I be worried? Should I go and get tested? Can I spread either through kissing and sharing glasses? 

Thanks, Dr’s!
Avatar photo
Edward W. Hook M.D.
4 months ago
Welcome to our Forum.  Thanks for your questions.  I'll be glad to comment.  The exposure you describe was low risk but not no risk.  Certainly hooking up with a partner who does that regularly suggests that she is at somewhat higher than average risk for STIs but that risk remains low for several reasons:
1.  Most people, even those with lots of partners do not have STIs.
2.  Most single exposures of any sort with infected partners do not lead to infection.
3.  Among the varieties of penetrative sexual contract, receptive oral sex is among the lowest risk forms of contact.  Deep kissing is a virtually no risk event.
4.  If sounds like you are  asymptomatic at the moment.  If so, that's a good sign- gonorrhea which is the most common STI to occur following receipt of oral sex is typically symptomatic within 3-4 days following exposure.  Similarly, if you had acquired herpes, symptoms typically occur within 10 days of an exposure.  

It is unlikely that you were infected.  Irrespective, you can be tested with a urine test at this time and anticipate accurate results for the most common STIs, gonorrhea and chlamydia.  As I said, in the absence of symptoms, I would not test for herpes of other STIs.  WE STRONGLY RECOMMEND AGAINST BLOOD TESTS FOR HERPES IN THESE SITUATIONS.  THE TESTS ARE UNRELIABLE AND OFTEN GIVE ERRONEOUS INFORMATION.  There is no risk for HIV from receipt of oral sex.  

It is unlikely you were infected.  Please stop your vigorous self examination which can cause symptoms and there is no need to use disposable cups or not kiss your GF.

I hope this information is helpful.  It is unlikely you were infected by your causal encounter.  If there are further questions, please use your up to two follow-ups for clarification.  EWH
---
Avatar photo
4 months ago
Thank you so much, doctor!

I kind of figured all of this, just nice to hear! Anxiety is worse than any actual exposure haha. 

May I just ask for a little more detail as to what makes it a low risk exposure? I’m just curious for my own knowledge. I’ve tried the whole google thing and it just puts me in a worse rabbit hole.

And besides more details on why it’s a low risk, what would happen if I am asymptomatic? Does it go away on its own or am I just going to have it will symptoms show up?

Thanks again!
Avatar photo
Edward W. Hook M.D.
4 months ago
As I said, most people, even those  multiple partners do not have STIs. That's the most important reason.  Further, as I also said, most single encounters with infected partners do NOT lead to infection.  Finally, as I also said above, while transmission probability varies from person to person, receipt of oral sex is amongst the lowest risk exposure's- this is because pharyngeal infections are relatively uncommon and because, as a biological process, transmission from the throat to the penis in biologically inefficient.  

Most infections are not asymptomatic but as I also said above, a simple urine test would provide conclusive results at this time, even with an asymptomatic infection.

You have one follow-up remaining.  EWH
---
Avatar photo
4 months ago
No more follow ups! 

I appreciate the information you give here and the knowledge. It’s a shame it’s not taught in schools and google just runs everyone paranoid. 

Be safe
Avatar photo
3 months ago
Actually, I do have a follow up. My anxiety is through the roof now! We are on day 13 and I think my anxiety is making me have symptoms and I’m googling.

I think I’m still self examining and it’s causing anxiety. I feel like I can feel the tip of my penis, and I have a sore throat. While looking in my mouth, I’ve seen a couple new white dots and my lip feels like it has a bump. I am a lip biter though, and I still have no discharge or burning/irritation when peeing. Although, I do feel like I have a lot of drip after I pee.

I also have a rash on my shoulder. I read on google gonorrhea can cause this. I am allergic to cats and I think I remember my friends cat getting a scratch in, but can’t remember fully. I feel like I have it and I’m spreading it everywhere. I haven’t even kissed my dog. I sleep with clothes on now. Is it possible to develop these symptoms on day 13 after exposure? Do I need to just relax and stay off google and stop self evaluation?

Thanks doctor
Avatar photo
Edward W. Hook M.D.
3 months ago
I think you are worrying far too much.  Further, GOOGLE is the ENEMY here- it will only mislead you with incorrect information and raise your anxiety further without any need.    Likewise, self examination is a mistake- it will only lead you to wonder about normal variation that would otherwise be ignored and/or cause irritation in its own right.  

Your rash is in no way relate to an STI- another example of why you need to stay of GOOGLE.  

You need to take a deep breath, relax and try to move forward.  As I already said, perhaps testing would also help your anxiety, not that you need it but because the negative result which I'm confident you would get might help your anxiety.

As you know, this completes this thread.  Please don't worry.  EWH
---