I've been seeing a new woman for about a month now, we have only done oral up until Saturday  night. we've briefly spoken about STDs and herpes and she has told me she doesnt get cold sores and doesnt have herpes. Im assuming she means shes never had symptoms, but the more i read on the internet the more scared i am that maybe if she did have it she wouldnt know. im seeing that 70-90% of people who have it dont know that they do.. which seems wild. Im coming off of a long term relationship so my anxiety around STDs has been quite high, and honestly it caused me to get in my head during sex this weekend which sucks because i like this girl. Do you think i have anything to worry about or is everything likely fine. i have trouble not just thinking EVERYONE has it. I was tested before my long term relationship and was negative for both types. 

We had sex Saturday night. so it's been a single encounter. 

About 48% of adults in the US have HSV 1 and around 15% have HSV 2, women a bit more likely to have HSV 2 than men.  The problem is that the testing is pretty flawed.  you could both test and LabCorp has the better test than other labs.  The problem is I don't know if you can order your own HSV test through labCorp - you could certainly try.---

i understand the statistics, im just wondering if this is somehting i should be worried about, i dont want to ruin the budding relationship by seeming paranoid about herpes when shes already told me she doesn't have it. im constantly checking myself after Saturday, its been 3 days with 0 symptoms

I'm glad you aren't having any symptoms, but this is all up to you.  You could say "why don't we both get tested for herpes - I read that 86% of those who have HSV 2 don't know they are infected.  That worried me some, what do you think?"---

86% is that actually true??? thats frightening lol,. i figured most people would have a first outbreak. if i havent had symptoms yet after 4 days am i likely in the clear if she also said she doesn't have it? i will probably discuss it with her going forward.

It is true, and for several reasons.  First, many people confuse herpes symptoms with something else - friction burns, zipper catches, yeast infections, urinary tract infection, etc etc.  Second, people you already have HSV 1 (half adults in the US) who acquire HSV 2 often do so without any symptoms or mild symptoms.  Third, sometimes clinicians will diagnose the symptoms as other things like shingles, and then people don't know what to think.  Hope this is helpful, good luck with your new partner.---