[Question #13015] Protective Vaginal Sex Questions

3 months ago

Hello, Doctors!

I know this is my third question and I’m sorry. I am deciding if I need to get tested next Wednesday or Thursday, but just have some questions following an exposure.

Last night, 15 hours ago, I again was a weak man and cheated on my girlfriend. It was with a 22 year old female, says she hasn’t have any symptoms of STI’s or HSV. She has had multiple partners and uses condoms besides one guy. Said she was tested a little under a year ago and was clean.

So, we made out and I sucked her breast. I was drunk, but I put the condom on to the best practice I could. No breakage, for I pinched and squeezed the condom to see if any holes. None, but I did touch the condom after sex.

Today, I noticed two small blisters or bumps, not clustered on my palm and crease of my finger. This got me worried since I asked a follow up answered by Terri about Fordyce Spots on my penis shaft that this has me scared now. I also had a pimple pop up on my shaft today, it did have a hair sticking out of it. Also, now it feels like the base of my shaft that meets the FUPA is cold. I have some questions.

1. Is this early signs of STI’s or Herpes?

2. The Fordyce Spots are still there from a week and a half ago, is this herpes from my oral exposure from April 6th? They have not popped or hurt, but are still here.

3. How secure is protected sex? What is my risk exposure?

4. Should I not have unprotected sex with my girlfriend?

5. Can I get STI’s/Herpes on my hands from touching the condom?

6. Am I self examining too much and just having google trick me?

Thanks Doctors!

3 months ago

Don’t know if this helps, but I haven’t used a condom in 5 years since being with my girlfriend, so this is my first penetrative sexual use with a condom with a random woman, besides the unprotected oral on April 6th.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

3 months ago

You describe another zero risk sexual exposure. You cannot get any STD from oral contact with a partner's breasts or nipples. Condoms are pretty much foolproof and if it didn't break wide open, there was no risk from vaginal sex. Touching the condom after sex is normal, expected, and risk free. As for your symptoms, you describe nothing that isn't entirely normal for any person's body in good health. I don't know what FUPA means.

1. "Is this early signs of STI’s or Herpes?" No.

2. Fordyce spots are normal and last months or years.

3. "How secure is protected sex? What is my risk exposure?" As Dr. Hook replied a couple weeks ago, even entirely unprotected sex usually results in no STD even with the highest risk partners. Condoms are 90-100% protective against the STDs transmitted by genital fluids (e.g. gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV) and somewhat less effective against those transmitted primarily by genital skin-skin contact (like herpes and HPV). Everybody gets HPV and surely you already have had it (and may still be carrying HPV). But because most people have been infected previously, the risk of a new infection any particular new condom protected exposure is very low.

4. "Should I not have unprotected sex with my girlfriend?" This is entirely up to you. If somehow I were in your situation I would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry. But I'm not you and you're obviously off the charts in the level of your anxieties. So you'd better be tested otherwise you'll just keep worrying. If you do it, only test for gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV and syphilis -- nothing else.

5. "Can I get STI’s/Herpes on my hands from touching the condom?" Of course not.

6. " Am I self examining too much and just having google trick me?" Obviously yes. I suggest you entirely stop bot self examination of any kind (look away from your penis when you urinate!) and also online searching about your symptoms and STD risks. If you feel compelled to do so, stick with professional or professionally moderated sites and definitely avoid those run by a for people with STDs or at risk (like Reddit, for example). Anyone can write anything and much information is pure BS, either naively or intentionally. "Dr. Google" definitely is not your friend.

"Don't know if this helps..." So you've obviously been sexually safe most of the time. (You still probably have HPV!) Your recent lapses are minor ones in terms of STD risk. Do your best to settle down, think objectively, and try to understand and believe our advice on this forum. Good luck.

HHH, MD

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3 months ago

Thank you, doctor. I am 100% filled with anxiety, I actually have Pure OCD. So, I’m always in my head. I appreciate the advice given by everyone the past couple weeks!

Problem with testing is it’s so expensive and I have no insurance. My girlfriend is a nurse, so she could get me in but then know what I’m testing for.

I guess I have a couple follow up questions and then I’ll try to stop being in my head and self evaluate as much.

1. I’ve seen online that chlamydia is almost always asymptomatic, is this true and can it go away on its own if so? And how long does it take to go away?

2. Same question but for gonorrhea

3. I’m going to try to relax more, how many days after exposure should I consider myself good with no symptoms?

Thank you!

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

3 months ago

1. You heard wrong. Most chlamydial infections in males cause obvious symptoms -- abnormal discharge from the penis, sometimes painful urination. Symptom usually begin 1-2 weeks after exposure. Untreated chlamydia usually is cleared by the immune system within a few months. Anyway, you are not at risk for chlamydia, which is almost never acquired by oral sex.

2. Nearly 100% of gonorrhea in males causes very obvious discharge (pus) dripping form the penis and seriously painful urination, starting within 5 days of exposure.

3. Two weeks.

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2 months ago

Okay, doctor. Thank you!

Today is day 5 with no painful urination or discharge.

Some follow up questions for my last response.

1. Does this mean I should not fear Gonorrhea or Chlamydial and continue sex with my partner?

2. I have fear for my partner. We have not had sex in 67 days, and she says her periods have been lasting longer and brown. She currently on day 12 of her period. Is this a sign of an STD I could have passed during our last sexual encounter? I did have an experience where I received unprotected oral sex and rubbed my penis on the outside of the vagina with no penetration before our last sexual intercourse.

Thank you for all your help doctor! I may have anxiety but these answers really help me calm down and get educated for myself! I appreciate it.

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD

2 months ago

Oral sex is low but not zero risk for gonorrhea and chlamydia. Same for condom protected vaginal sex. Absence of symptoms is evidence against infection but not proof, and it can take up to 2 weeks for symptoms to start. If you feel you need 100% certainty you are not infected before having sex with your partner, you can wait 2 weeks, but even that would leave a very small chance you are infected. For proof you need testing, which is valid for these STDs 4-5 days after the last possible exposure.

I'm sure you know this, but your frankly irresponsible sexual choices are perhaps your biggest sexual health problem; if you continue with the sexual lifestyle you have described, your partner will always have at least a small risk of catching an STD from you. Your description of her menstrual periods does not suggest an STD.

That concludes this thread. Please note the forum policy against repeated questions on the same topic. This being your third about your outside partnerships and STD/HIV concerns, it must be your last. Repeated questions may be deleted without reply and without refund of the posting fee. The forum sponsor doesn't want repeated payment for questions already answered (or whose answers are obvious from previous discussions) and repeated answers tend to prolong rather than relieving anxiety. In addition, such questions have reduced educational value for other users, one of the forum's goals. Thank you for your understanding.

I hope the three discussions have helped you move along. If any further issues along these lines come to mind, re-read all three of your threads; the answers probably are there. Best wishes and good luck.

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