The vaginal sex event also was little or no risk for HIV. It's common for a condom to remain in place when the penis leaves the vagina after sex; when it happens, protection is considered complete. In addition, in the US -- and Western Europe and most of the Americas -- HIV remains uncommon in female sex workers, so it is unlikely your partner had HIV. Even when the female partner has untreated HIV, with entirely unprotected vaginal sex the average chance the male partner will become infected is under one chance in 2,000. These are some of the reasons that sexually transmitted HIV remains a much more important problem in men who have sex with men than for heterosexual males and females.

If you were to learn your partner actually has HIV, some experts might advise PEP in this situation, and holding of on sex with your wife. Even then PEP would be optional. From a medical/risk perspective, I would consider even testing for HIV to be optional. The chance were infected is probably in the range of one in a million, tops. However, reassurance alone is a valid reason for testing:  even with little or no risk, if you're going to worry about this, I would suggest being tested. You can have a valid HIV PCR RNA test 11 days after exposure.

You don't mention other STDs, and gonorrhea often is transmitted by oral sex. However, if within 5 days you have no discharge of pus from your penis or painful urination, there is almost no chance of gonorrhea.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD