Hi, thank you so much for all you do.

I’m a 35-year-old male, soon to be married. My only sexual partner was an ex (now 37), whom I dated for 5 years. We mostly had protected vaginal and anal sex, but had one unprotected anal encounter 3–4 years ago, lasting ~15 minutes. I was the insertive partner, circumcised, and we used lube.

She had two prior partners: one a virgin, the other a “playboy.” She had some protected and unprotected sex with the latter 10 years ago. He is now married with a child. She says she’s never had genital or oral herpes symptoms, and a vaginal cyst she once had was ruled out as herpes.

I’ve had oral HSV-1 since childhood but never any genital symptoms, before or after. It’s been over 3 years of sexual inactivity and no signs of HSV-2.

I’m now anxious I may have asymptomatic HSV-2 and could transmit it to my wife. Testing options are limited where I live, and I worry about false positives due to HSV-1.

1. Could I have gotten HSV-2 from that one encounter?

2. Does 3 years without symptoms mean I can move on?

3. Should I get tested?