What are my risks here ? I’m very scared of syphillis, Especially since I was not able to see if she had any sores inside her mouth on her tongue or inside lip . How does syphillis transfer would I need to have a cut or open abrasion on my penis or does it spread just by a simple couple second touch to a syphillis sore ? 

Should I test for gonorrhea ? I know Gonorrhea infects the throat and my penis was nowhere near her throat she just licked the tip and maybe kissed it and put the tip in her mouth can’t remember exactly can spit go inside the urethra and infect me ? she did not actually give me fellatio just licked the tip and kissed it. Maybe wrapped her lips around the tip but she didn’t actually go down at all. 

Should I be concerned should I abstain unprotected sex with my wife ? 

No STI is likely with such very brief and superficial contact. It doesn't matter whether or not your massage lady had "sores inside her mouth on her tongue or inside lip" (or anywhere else). Saliva doesn't transmit STIs, or too rarely to worry about. I recommend you not be tested for gonorrhea, syphilis or anything else; and it is safe to continue unprotected sex with your wife.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear. But let's avoid "yes but" or other questions that provide more detail about the massage events. Almost certainly there is nothing that will come to mind that has any chance of changing  my evaluation and advice.

HHH, MD

Your response seems to lean towards the saliva part only.

 How about the 5 second of her licking the tip or kissing the tip wrapping her lips around the tip or her licking on shaft for 3/5 seconds without actually performing fellatio. No contact to her throat. Let say she had a syphillis chancre couldn’t that instant touch of a chancre in her tongue or inside her lips or anywhere in mouth  infect me ? Isn’t syphillis skin to skin? How much exposure or what type of exposure is needed to transfer infection ? Like I said she licked the tip and maybe wrapped her lips around the tip only without actually performing oral, As soon as I felt her lick I told her to stop so it was about 3-7 seconds max. However she then licked my shaft for about 3 seconds again before I told her to stop. I don’t want to test if I don’t need to as it causes me a lot of anxiety, Just want to hear your input. 

So what your saying is that if she had oral gonorrhea or chlamydia and she spits on my penis and the saliva enters my urethra it wouldn’t cause infection? 

That syphilis is transmitted skin-to-skin doesn't mean that any and all skin contact is risky. "Instant touch of a chancre" probably cannot transmit infection. The syphilis bacteria need to be massaged into the tissues for infection to take hold. The brief sorts of contact you describe have little or no risk. Licking is little or no risk. And syphilis is rare in women like your massage partner, so it is unlikely she has it. 

"So what you're saying is that if she had oral gonorrhea or chlamydia and she spits on my penis and the saliva enters my urethra it wouldn’t cause infection?" Correct.

When you said the syphillis chancre needs to be massaged into the skin, wouldn’t licking be sort of massaging the skin? 

If you were in my situation would you feel the need to get tested from this exposure ? Before this exposure I have not had any more exposures and been tested and been good on everything else. I don’t want to test if my risk is zero. Would I be safe to continue unprotected sex with my partner ? 

If I were in your situation, I would not feel a need for testing and I already said it is safe to have sex with your regular partner.

However, I am changing my advice:  you should be tested. It is very clear you are fearful of the possibility of being infected despite all I have said. I am certain you will continue to worry about syphilis and maybe HIV until you have proved to yourself you do not have them. So I suggest testing for both 6 weeks after the sexual event you are concerned about. This does NOT mean I believe there is any chance you are infected. But I DO believe you will not stop worrying and wondering until you have been tested with negative results.

That concludes this thread. If you decide to be tested, DO NOT RETURN to tell us the results or with any further questions about this sexual exposure. As you have been warned in the past, repeated anxiety driven questions may be deleted without reply and without refund of the posting fee. Thank you.