This is a straightforward and quite common situation:  i.e. an STI in only one member of a couple when both had to be infected. There is no doubt your recent male partner had gonorrhea and was the source of your infection. Not only was your test positive, but your symptoms and their timing were exactly as expected.

There are a few possibilities to explain your partner's negative test results. First and most likely, he probably had pharyngeal (throat) infection and the oral sex was the source of your own infection. (Why wasn't he tested for oral gonorrhea?) Second, the tests aren't perfect and miss some infections, perhaps especially when asymptomatic -- i.e. your partner may have had rectal gonorrhea despite his negative test result, although this is less likely than his having oral gonorrhea. Third, the immune system clears gonorrhea over time, without treatment; conceivably your partner was on the way to self cure when you were infected. Fourth, maybe he took an antibiotic, whether because he suspected gonorrhea or perhaps for an entirely unrelated reason.

This situation is one of the reasons that all sex partners of persons with gonorrhea should be treated for it, without waiting for test results -- and even if testing is done but is negative. Your anal sex partner must be informed and he has a responsibility both to his other or future sex partner(s) and for his own health to be treated for it. He also could have a throat gonorrhea test before treatment, and perhaps a repeat anal swab test.

As noted above, the timing of your symptoms is one of the indicators when you were infected -- i.e. typically a few days before onset of symptoms. Gonorrhea does not remain asymptomatic for weeks and then start to cause symptoms. There is no realistic chance you had gonorrhea 6 weeks ago; your wife was not at risk. She need not be treated or informed of your diagnosis (unless of course you and she had sex after your sex with your male partner, in which case she definitely must be informed, tested and treated).

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if any of this isn't clear.

HHH, MD

Also I don't know why he didn't get oral tested either when I told him. He took a previous std panel of test before and showed me after the act but the test was with blood and urine not swab for anal and oral. When he did get retested he wished he tested for oral also, that would have gave me more peace of mind that it was absolute that I got it from him.

Test of cure wasn't needed; for gonococcal urethritis as you had, just clearance of symptoms is nearly 100% assurance of cure. In any case, you are over-interpreting whatever information you found about urine testing for gonorrhea:  clean vs non-clean urine catch makes no difference and you can be sure the repeat test will also be negative.