[Question #13659] Worried
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1 months ago
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Hello - I am a male and 3 days ago made some poor drunk decisions… unprotected sex, some vaginal, but mostly oral sex (her to me). In Europe.
She mentioned that she was tested in the past and all clean (she didn’t say how long ago). She mentioned she had a kid, I think she might be also married, so maybe not very active, but not certain. As an additional data point, she was in her mid-40’s, and have read a post here from Dr Hook saying that women that age are less likely to be infectious, even if the are infected. Not a profesional. No visible sores. I have not had any other exposure in 10 years.
I feel very guilty and now I have a trip with my wife to South America in a couple of days for 10 days - so I can’t do any testing. We always have unprotected sex.
I understand from this single exposure my main risks are clam and gon. I have no symptoms at all and checking throughly.
Would be OK to resume our normal sex life if I continue without any symptoms 7-9 days after exposure?
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
1 months ago
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Welcome to our Forum. Thanks as well for reading other threads on the Forum. Our desire is to make this information available. You’ve gotten a correct sense of our perspective on your situation. Your partner based on her age and testing history was relatively low risk as are your chances of having been infected. As you suggest, the STIs you are at highest risk for are gonorrhea and chlamydia and if there are no obvious symptoms on the next 5-7 days the likelihood that you are infected is so low that I would not worry about resuming unprotected sex with your regular partner.
One word of caution. Don’t over check yourself- too much squeezing can be irritating in its own right. A small amount of urethral moisture is normal.
I hope this perspective is helpful. Please don’t worry and feel free to use your up to 2 follow ups for clarification if needed. EWH
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1 months ago
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Many Thanks Dr Hook. It would be good to get a follow-up on:
1) what will be obvious symptoms? as you imagined I am “overlooking”, so don’t want to be mistaken.
2) I could maybe try to get tested tomorrow, but it will be quite a hassle just before the flight, barely 3.5 days after exposure and very expensive here. Based on your feedback of waiting, I am less inclined to push for it, unless you tell me otherwise.
3) I saw a post from you here saying that women mid-40 are less infectious, even if they are infected, but I could never find it again (there are too many). Can you share with me some high level stats for reasonable reassurance for my case?
Thank you again, you provide a lot of help in a stressful moment.
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Edward W. Hook M.D.
1 months ago
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1. The symptoms to look for are an obvious penile discharge, not just a tiny amount of moisture at the tip of your penis. Again, squeezing would not be needed and is not a good idea.
2. Testing at 3.5 days with a urine test will provide accurate information regarding whether or not you are infected. I don't feel strongly it is needed but testing is a personal choice and may be valuable if you are feeling anxious. Test results would be reliable at 3.5 days
3. Statistically, infections are less common among older women with rates being highest in women under 30, somewhat lower in women over 30 and lower still in women over 40. If a woman is infected, no matter what he age, the likelihood of infecting a partner is about the same and is about 20% per episode of vaginal sex, lower still with receipt of oral sex.
EWH
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