I gather this question concerns the same exposures and symptoms you were concerned about 3 years ago, in the discussion you had with Dr. Hook. I'm sorry it still concerns you. I agree with Dr. Hook's replies back then:  there was no serious reason to think your problem was ARS, both because the most likely explanation (covid) was quite obvious at the time; and you reported your partner had a negative rapid HIV test. In addition, if you had acquired HIV 3 years ago, you probably would have had obvious symptoms by now, in which case your doctor would have tested you for HIV.

However, at this point there is no way to be 100% certain about it. One of the main take-home points of Dr. Hook's replies back then is that symptoms are essentially useless in judging whether or not someone has ARS. The symptoms of ARS are the same as with several other infections and other medical conditions and all these are far more common than ARS (even in people at risk for HIV). In other words, even with the typical symptoms, including skin rash, usually the problem is something else. Further, half of all people with new HIV infections have no symptoms at all. Therefore, the only reliable determination is to be tested for HIV. Since you do not mention HIV testing either in your questions back then or in this one, I assume you have not been tested. If you have and the result was negative, you can entirely certain you do not have HIV and your symptoms back then were not due to HIV/ARS. If you have not been tested for HIV, you need to do it now. Almost certainly the result will be negative.

I'll be happy to comment further if you would like to go ahead with an HIV test and let me know the result (or report the result of a previous HIV test if you have done that). In the meantime, don't be worried:  almost certainly you do not have HIV.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

The symptoms occurred with him not myself. I never caught COVID from him and never had any type of ARS symptoms or symptoms of anything after sex and don't have any known heath issues at this time. I am nearing peri menopause and had a brief spotting issue a year ago as well as a cyst otherwise healthy.  The fact I haven't had any issues outside of run of the mill bugs at 3.5 years is a good sign I assume? As well as lack of any ARS symptoms?

Do I understand this correctly? Again, thank you!

As for symptoms of HIV within 4 years of catching it, you correctly understand that some do and some don't. I can't give you precise percentages, but I would estimate that by that time around two thirds of HIV infected persons would have had symptoms that would bring them to a doctor.

Beyond that, I can't say more than I already have. I see no reason for you to be concerned about HIV and very much doubt you have it. However, since you're worried enough to come back to our forum, I'm sure you will continue to worry and wonder about it until and unless you have had a negative HIV test (preferably an AgAb, i.e. "4th generation" blood test). I will be happy to comment one more time after you have done so. Or discuss this with your doctor during your upcoming physical exam and get tested then. (If you have delayed testing because you find it stressful or anxiety-producing, that's not a valid reason to delay further. Both research and clinical experience show that when people delay testing for anything that worries them -- not only HIV but tests like mammogram, colonoscopy, pap smears, and so on -- stress almost always declines once the test is done and the results are known even if positive for the feared result. The stress from worry is always greater than the relief from finally getting it done and knowing the outcome.)

In any case, I will have no further comments or advice until and unless you let me know an HIV test result. OK? Do it soon -- threads are closed after 4 weeks or two follow-up comments and replies, whichever comes first.