I went to a massage parlor and the woman sat naked on my back. Then I turned over for a handjob.  4 weeks later I noticed a small red spot on my skin.lower back, , It was flush with the skin., I was worried it was syphilis. I went to my doctor and he said it did not look like syphilis. He knew I have anxiety so he did a RPR blood test. It was non reactive,. This was done 7 weeks after my massage experience. I was still worried and anxious after the test, so I went to my moms house and let her see the spot on my lower back. She touched it, Now I am worried if it happened to be syphilis could she have been infected on her finger? She is 83 years old.She ended up with a sore on her side of the thumb by the knuckle.  Then she had what seemed to be a bad sinus infection. Fever, very sore throat. 1 year later she has developed a pain in her right knee  and tenderness by the joint. I cannot keep it out of my mind for over a year now that what I had might have been syphilis and when my mom looked at it  she touched it ,that is might have caused a transmission,  not sure that part of her finger would have touched the spot I had but it still worry's me.  Please help.. 

Welcome to our Forum.  I will try to help.  I think you are4 worrying about something that is not the case.  While syphilis is transmitted by DIRECT CONTACT with infectious lesions, for someone to acquire syphilis is the manner you describe is incredibly unlikely.  Syphilis is a rare disease.  You do not mention seeing a lesion on your partner than might have been present in an area that contacted you when she sat on your back.  So,, for starters, there is no reason to think that you contacted a syphilitic lesion during the interaction you describe.

Then, 4 weeks later ( a bit late for a syphilis lesion to appear, typically if such lesions appear it is around 2-3 weeks) you noted a lesion on your back near the site of contact and wondered if it might be syphilis.  If it were syphilis, one would expect the lesion to ulcerate to become an open sore but you do not mention that this occurred.  Further, you had a syphilis blood test performed which was negative.  if the lesion on your back had been present for more than 2-3 days, your syphilis blood test would have been positive but it was not. You also do not mention what might have caused the lesion you describe to go away.

Your concerns about your mother touching the sore are likewise not consistent with syphilis.  Even when syphilis sores are touched, they typically are not transmitted.  Further, her current symptoms are in NO WAY consistent with syphilis which does NOT cause fever, sore throat or acute knee pain. 

thus in summary, you had a very, very low risk exposure, you have a negative test, and you are still worried that you might have gotten syphilis and transmitted it to your mother by casual contact.  This is just not a plausible situation.  I urge you not to worry further about syphilis and to move forward without concern.  I hope my comments are helpful to you - please don't worry.  EWH