I will start off by admitting that I am currently under counsellor care after the sudden passing of my brother. He was HIV positive after years of heroin abuse with needles.

I hope that you can help me with my exposures and put my mind at rest. 

A couple of weeks ago I met a girl at a concert. We did not have sex, however we did have lots of deep open-mouth French kissing with tongue.

I do not know her HIV status. I also do not know if there was any blood in her mouth as we had been drinking.

My worry is that 2 hours or so before I met the girl, I had brushed my teeth in the hotel with a manual toothbrush and my back gums had slightly bled (not lots, but there was some red in the sink).

I have seen on the forum (#3416, #5735, #13605 and #13814) that there is ZERO RISK for HIV from deep open- mouth French kissing and there is no need for concern or testing.

Further, I also see that you have advised other forum users that they will never be at risk of HIV until they have unprotected sex, share drug needles or are exposed to traumatic amounts of blood (from a auto accident, for example).

Any assurance you can give is so very much appreciated. Am I in the clear for HIV and can I move on without concern?

You really needn't worry. There is nothing in the kissing event you describe that seems to differ significantly from the others you found on the forum. First, the chance a random woman attending a concert would have HIV probably is under one in a thousand, especially if this occurred in North America or Western Europe. Second, oral exposures rarely transmit HIV -- either by giving or receiving. That is, HIV infected people rarely if ever transmit the virus from their own mouths; and persons orally exposed to infected fluids rarely become infected. The term "zero risk" is relative:  it isn't possible to say the risk is truly zero. On the other hand, there no known cases of HIV in which such exposure was the only possible source of HIV infection. Whether your kissing partner might have had blood in her mouth and your having brushed your teeth recently make no difference: obviously there must have been millions of kissing events in these situations, and still no known HIV transmission. And you indeed are correct that from a medical/risk standpoint, we rarely if ever advise HIV testing on account of such events.

That said, I stress "medical/risk standpoint":  definitely no need for testing. However, reassurance alone often is a valid reason for testing even in absence of known risk. In other words, you certainly may be tested if you would gain additional confidence with the negative results. If somehow I were in your situation, I would not be tested -- but that decision is up to you, independent of actual risk.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

I stay away from drugs and I do not share needles. I also do not have sex with partners without first discussing testing history (I am a heterosexual male).

I last had intercourse 12 months ago with my ex-girlfriend. I was tested for HIV, Syphilis, Hepatitis B/C and others in September 2025 and they all returned NEGATIVE.

The ‘medical/risk’ standpoint is all that matters to me as you and Dr Hook are known worldwide for your expertise in the STI space. If you think there is nothing to worry about, then that is sufficient for me.

Summarising your advice:

Thank you for assisting in my recovery.

All three of your summary statements are exactly right. Don't worry about kissing events or other sexual activity that does not include penile insertion into a partner's vagina or rectum; and use condoms when that sort of opportunity arises. These approaches will keep you free of HIV (and virtually all STIs), up to that day when you have a mutually committed long-term relationship with a life partner.

That completes the two follow-up comments and replies included with each question and so ends this thread. Thanks for the thanks; that's why we're here. Best wishes and stay safe.