I have been extremely stressed about possible HIV infection. I have browsed the Internet and seen so many differing opinions about HIV and how it is passed on.

Whilst overseas on a business trip in the Middle East 3 weeks ago I ended up ‘making out’ (deep kissing) with a local woman (aged 31) who attended one of the conferences. It lasted 2 or 3 minutes max.

I am ashamed as I have a wife and 4 daughters back home. 

I asked this woman about her testing history. She claims that she last had sex 3 months ago and tested clear after this. However, I have no clue if what she is saying is true as she tried to get me to go back to her Air BnB (for obvious reasons).

I finally made the decision to consult my Doctor and he told me that until I end up having unprotected intercourse or engage in oral sex (like receiving blowjobs or my mouth touching a vagina) with an unfamiliar person, there is no need to test for HIV. 

My Doctor told me to stop Internet browsing and actually recommended that I look at this page for the extra reassurance on top of his medical advice. He said there is no medical risk of HIV from my encounter.

Can I put this encounter out of my head and stop worrying?

I look forward to hearing from you.

I'll start with a comment about "I have browsed the Internet and seen so many differing opinions...." It suggests you've been spending time on some non-professional websites. The worst possible source of accurate information about health risks are sites run by and for people with that particular problem or concerned about it -- like Reddit, for example. You won't find much "differing" advice if you limit searching to professionally run sites, like public health departments, academic institutions, etc; or at least those that are moderated by health professionals, like ours. There are clear scientific data that override innumerable stories or worries about exposures that in fact carry little or no risk.

Nobody in the world has been documented to have acquired HIV by kissing. In general, all oral exposures are little or no risk:  people rarely acquire HIV by exposure of their oral cavities or swallowing infected fluids; and people with HIV rarely transmit it from their mouths to their sex partners. That's not to say the risk is truly zero:  if someone has both genital sex and kissing, how can you know which event transmitted the virus? However, there are few if any recorded cases in which oral exposure was the only risk. And some rare oral exposures have transmitted HIV, e.g. when infected parents pre-chew their young children's food, which is common in some societies. But sex involving the oral cavity generally should be viewed as zero risk.

In addition it is extremely unlikely that your kissing partner has HIV anyway, which would be my judgment even if your partner had not been tested recently. Even among female sex workers in the Middle East, very few have HIV. Further, most people don't lie about HIV/STI status when asked directly. For these reasons, you can safely assume your kissing even was truly zero risk.

Finally, as suggested by my opening comments, I agree exactly with your own doctor. In fact, I really wouldn't even worry about receiving oral sex:  just as there are few or no HIV cases from kissing, none are known to have been transmitted mouth to penis. And of course I also agree with your doctor's advice about internet browsing -- or at least limit your searching to professional websites.

So the answer to your closing question is a very strong YES:  you indeed should "put this encounter out of [your] head and stop worrying.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

I will certainly be taking your advice onboard since my Doctor said you and Doctor Hook are famed for having never been wrong on the forum in 20 years and having no HIV positive client. That is some feat - congratulations!

My one concern with my deep kissing event was that I had a small burn / ulcer on the roof of my mouth from drinking hot tea that morning. I certainly cannot remember seeing any active wounds in this woman’s mouth. However, if there has never been a documented HIV case from deep kissing, I guess this makes no difference. I also see Doctor Hook has advised other users that issues like gum disease, blood in the mouth etc. make no difference to the no risk nature of deep kissing.

All in all:

1. Everything is fine from this deep kissing event. I am free of HIV?

2. I do not need to be tested for HIV?

3. I will never catch HIV until I have intercourse with an unknown female? (I don’t partake in drugs).

4. I can resume intercourse with my wife?

Thank you again.