[Question #13862] Medical advice re. HIV

1 days ago

Doctors, please can you help me?

I thought I was ready to try and meet new people again following the passing of my wife 6 months ago. However, I have realised it is still too soon.

I signed up to the dating app Tinder. I met up with a 31-year old female (I am heterosexual male, 32). After the date, I invited her back to my house as she lives close by.

She wanted to have sex and tried to give me a BJ, but I said none of that was happening. The activities were me fingering her vagina and us deep kissing.

This girl told me that in the last 4 years she has only had sex with 2 men. I did not ask any questions about testing history or whether these were protected encounters as I never wanted to have sex.

I have looked at your site and see that you state both deep kissing and fingering don’t put me at any risk of HIV.

Is everything good and am I clear of HIV with nothing to worry over?

Edward W. Hook M.D.

1 days ago

Welcome to our Forum. Thanks for your questions and thanks for looking at past thread- we make them available to provide information to our clients. You are ding everything right- the activities that you describe (deep kissing and masturbation of her vagina) are no risk activities for HIV and other STIs. You also did well to ask her about past partners- the information she provided suggests that she is unlikely to have an STI. Good work.

You have nothing to worry about from the encounters you describe- there is no need for concern and no need for testing. You can move forward without worries. EWH

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1 days ago

Hello Dr Hook.

Thank you for your concrete reassurance.

I hope you don’t mind answering my two follow up questions:

1. I do not remember fully as these events were a month ago, but I may have had a mouth ulcer at the time of the deep kissing from eating hot food. My back gums also sometimes bleed slightly when brushing my teeth or flossing, and I will have done this before heading to the date night.

Still nothing to worry about regarding HIV in the event this girl had a cut or blood in her mouth?

2. Is it still the case that HIV is ONLY spread via two mechanisms - A) unprotected vaginal/anal intercourse; and B) injecting material deep into tissue with needles?

Nothing to worry about regarding any other form of intimate contact?

Edward W. Hook M.D.

1 days ago

Certainly- see below

1. The presence of a mouth ulcer would in no way change your risk. Still no risk.

2. Correct

I think you may be worrying more than you need to be. EWH

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23 hours ago

Thank you again, Doctor, for your prompt answer. I agree with you - I think my emotions are mainly out of guilt since it has only been 6 months since my wife passed away.

If I may, I would like to use my last post to summarise the advice you have given to me before the thread is closed:

1. NO HIV RISK from deep French kissing even if I had a mouth ulcer or bleeding gum; and the lady had blood in her mouth.

2. NO HIV RISK whatsoever until I: (a) have unprotected vaginal/anal intercourse with an unknown partner; or (b) share needles (which I never will).

3. Absolutely nothing to worry about regarding HIV from these events and I can now be worry free?

Thank you for your patience and for your assistance this evening. I will be sure to recommend this site to others who may need STI advice in the future.

God Bless.

Edward W. Hook M.D.

23 hours ago

Repeating the questions does not change the answers. This will be the final response. Then the thread will be closed

1. Correct

2. Correct

3. Correct

EWH

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