My question is about transmission and disclosure. I have stopped dating but would like to get back to it, esp if warts start to get more under control. If I have active warts that have been treated and seem to be at bay can I engage in fingering and oral or do I have to wait the desired 3-6 months to have any sexual contact?

Do I have to disclose? The advice is confusing. 

Warts are caused by the HPV virus.  I'll try to address your questions with some generalizations.  I'll also urge you not to go to the internet regaurding this topic as much of what is there is alarmist misinformation.  

There are over 100 different HPV types of which just two cause well over 90% of visible genital warts.  Further, most unvaccinated sexually active adults already have had several types of HPV infection in the past, most often without knowing it.  This is important because it is likely that any new sexual partners you may have likely already have had HPV infection which has resolved but which also makes them resistant to future infection by virtue of their immune response to infection.  Because HPV is so very prevalent and the infections are in large part innocuous, we do not feel that the presence of HPV warrants partner notification or abstinence.  I see no need for you to abstain from sexual activity of any sort as a result of your warts.  Nor do I see any need to disclose your HPV infection to others as it is likely that any future partners have already been infected (and resolved) their own HPV infections in the past.  .  

Regarding hand to genital and oral contact, any risk which might be present is even lower for those sites.  There are no proven cases of hand to genital transmission of HPV and for reasons that are not fully understood, oral HPV is less common and less efficiently transmitted than through genital-genital contact.  

I hope this information is helpful and reassuring.  You get two follow-ups to this question for any needed clarifications or follow-up questions.  EWH

So just to be clear there very little risk if someone touched my genitals that they would get hpv? 

I’m assuming I have to wait for active warts to be gone ideally to have genital-genital contact? They are not visible atm. So if I got into something with someone don’t disclose that I had recently had warts then they recurred again would I just say that it was the first time I got them?

Finally, do the recurrences calm down after 6 months? I’m on month 4/5 now and still getting them although not in same places so possibly they were part of the original ones as only did a very thorough check recently.. I’m 45 so maybe that’s why.

It would probably be best if your skin has healed following cryo before resuming sex. 

You are correct that we do not feel strongly that disclosure is critical.  

 I should warn you as well that shaving warts may sometimes spread them.  

Your pattern is recurrence is a little unusual- I would be sure that they are warts by checking with a dermatologist or an experienced ob-gym

EWH

I have not examined you but I suggest verifying that the new lesions you ( and/or the clinician who is treating you) notice because there are literally hundreds of dermatological lesions which can occur in the genital area which can be mistaken for warts.  Your response to cryo does not mean your lesions are warts- cryotherapy is rather nonspecific in addressing dermatological conditions.  My colleague, Dr. Handsfield has written a book on genital dermatology in which less than 10% of conditions described are STIs.  In addition, at age 45, new HPV infections are less common ( over 60% of unvaccinated women acquire HPV within six months of beginning to have intercourse). Finally, to have recurrences in new locations after successful treatment is a bit uncommon.  

I hope the information I’ve provided has been helpful.  EWH