[Question #13922] HIV - Deep Kissing, Handjob and Fingering

1 hours ago

Hello Doctors

I hope that you can help me.

Last night I took a female out for dinner having met her on a dating app. There was quite a lot of alcohol involved and we ended up going back to her apartment afterwards.

We did not have sexual intercourse, nor did I receive a BJ or perform oral sex on her.

I do not know her HIV status, but she claims that she last had intercourse 18 months ago and has had no sex partner since. The extent of any ‘intimacy’, she admits, has been receiving fingerings from men she has dated and nothing more.

We both work in MENA, therefore her HIV status has to have been clear recently in order for her to pass her employment medical (which she says is up for renewal next year). She is a Teacher.

Last night, the activities included:

1. Deep open-mouth tongue kissing

2. Me fingering her vagina

3. Me sucking and kissing her breasts

4. Me receiving a handjob (she used moisturising lotion)

My concern is that I noticed some small blood patches on the bed once we were finished. I also washed my hands immediately and noticed some dark red spots on my fingers. She says she is not on her period, and it seems that I may have fingered her too hard.

My brother is a Doctor and I have spoken with him this morning in confidence. He said that until my penis enters a female’s vagina, anus or mouth I am at NO RISK of HIV.

He told me there is zero need to test for HIV or any STI from these events as they are no risk medically.

I would appreciate your insight.

Edward W. Hook M.D.

1 hours ago

Welcome to our Forum. Thanks for your questions and your implied confidence in our service. I'm pleased to be able to verify the information that your brother has provided. Your partner's history firmly puts her in a low risk category and most people do tell the truth. Further, there is agreement among all experts including the WHO and CDC that each of the activities you describe- masturbation (receipt or fingering your partner), kissing including kissing a partner's breasts and contact with blood or genital secretions without genital/genital penetration are no risk activities in terms of STI, including HIV risk. There is no reason for concern and no reason for testing.

I hope that this information is helpful. Please don't worry. EWH

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11 minutes ago

Hi Doctor

Thank you for your super speedy response, particular on a Sunday.

I hope you don’t mind answering my follow up questions below:

1. I have an ulcer on the roof of my mouth from drinking a hot drink yesterday morning. I gather this makes zero difference to the no risk of HIV from deep open-mouth kissing?

2. If my partner touched her breasts with her hands that may have had vaginal fluids or blood on them and I didn’t notice, sucking and kissing her breasts still put me at no risk of HIV?

3. In addition to using moisturiser as a lubricant for my handjob, if my partner also had vaginal fluids or some blood on her fingers when she masterbated me, this still put me at no risk of HIV? (I know some moisturiser entered my urethra)

Thank you for your help.