I hope that you can help me and thank you in advance for your time.

2 weeks ago whilst my girlfriend was away with work, I ended up hooking up with an unknown woman. She invited me back to her house.

We spoke about historic partners and she claims to have not had sex for over 12 months, and the extent of her ‘intimacy’ with guys she has dated since her last STI testing has been receiving fingerings only.

There was no penile penetration at all and I did not receive oral sex from her. We French kissed, I fingered her vagina and she gave me an unprotected handjob (quite aggressively at times).

I am uncircumcised and she used moisturising lotion as a lubricant. 

I have visited my GP today for an unrelated issue and whilst I was there I also consulted the STI nurse about these events. She said that I shouldn’t be worried at all: citing that even if this woman was positive, I was at no risk for HIV unless we had unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse (which we didn’t). 

She added that French kissing and masterbation do not transmit the virus - even if she had vaginal fluids or some blood on her fingers and had touched the tip of my penis / urethra.

She said that there is zero need to test from a medical/risk perspective and that I can move on without concern - including having sex with my girlfriend again.

I look forward to hearing from you with your perspective.

Kind regards

Jonathan

But sometimes there's enough information in the opening lines, or just the title of the user chooses for their question, to permit a reliable reply. In this case, in the entire 40+ years of the recognize worldwide HIV/AIDS epidemic, there have been few or no reliably documented cases of transmission of the virus by kissing or by hand-genital contact. So even if your hookup partner has untreated HIV, you were at no significant risk of infection. And statistically, the chance such a woman has HIV is near zero, especially if you live in an industrialized country and not in (for example) sub-Saharan Africa.

For those reasons, I agree exactly with the STI nurse you saw, including her advice that "there is zero need to test...and that [you] can move on without concern - including having sex with [your] girlfriend again."

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything remains unclear.

HHH, MD