Yesterday I made a terrible mistake at a massage parlor. I got a bare handed no protected handjob until finish and during the whole thing the female massage therapist stuck her finger in my butt unprotected. I am very worried thinking that this could cause an std. especially if her hand was dirty or contaminated please let me know what I am at risk for and also if u think it ok for me to still have sex with my wife or if I need to wait a certain time to be tested. Ugh I know I messed up but I don’t want to hurt my wife in the process. Please let me know thank you

While you might regret this experience, it really wasn't a mistake at all in terms of STI risk; from that standpoint I don't agree you "messed up." Neither HIV nor any other STI is transmitted by hand-genital contact, anal (or vaginal) fingering or similar kinds of contact. Even if her had were contaminated with her own body fluids (vaginal, saliva, etc) there was no risk. Your follow-up comment suggests you partly understand that "no actual sex" means no risk. You need not be tested for anything and can safely continue to have unprotected sex with your wife; you will not be putting her at risk in any way.

I hope this information is helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD