[Question #1575] Penis rubbing between anus (buttocks) risk assessment help

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87 months ago


Hi there,

I want to quickly thank you for this wonderful forum you have going here, a special shout out to Dr Hook, and Dr Hansfield

I would prefer if Either Dr Hook/Hansfield took this question just for personal reasons.

My heart is beating as I am extremely nervous asking this question. I’ve always had a fright for doctors but I guess I need to come to grips with the consequences of my actions in life.


Background info:

Around 2009/2010, I was 13 and my friend was 15 (both males)

Here are the acts we engaged in:
-Me briefly touching his penis and him touching mine

-Our bodies touching eachother

-Him rubbing his penis inbetween my buttocks and quite possibly my anus. I cannot remember the amount of pressure though I would bet it was light and then hard sometimes. I can’t remember how long it was but I imagine it was around 10 minutes or so (but please for my peace of mind, I’m looking at extremes because I’ve been extremely anxious).

-I tried rubbing my penis between his buttocks but I think it was really brief.

-This was done on 2 separate occasions although I would argue the first time was very brief.

-NOTHING else besides this, no oral, no penetration, or anything.

-I would bet that he didn’t have any lesions but I’m still scared that he might’ve and I might have forgotten.

-We are also BOTH uncircumcised


Partner info:

-I do remember him before talking to him that he does this with his friends (this type of frottage) and I think his friends are promiscuous.

-He is an individual who did go out with a fair share of girls although I can’t be 100% certain.

-I talked to him on FB and it seems like he has sex quite a bit. I asked him randomly if he’s ever gotten tested and he just replied that he doesn’t have intercourse with prostitutes saying that he’s safe. But I assume logically if he did transmit the virus and him being promiscuous, I’m sure his partners may have informed him?


Some more info:

I understand I was placed at risk for HPV, Syphillis, HSV and not any other STD/HIV.


Here’s the tricky part – in 2015, I only came to learn about sexual risks when I was randomly cruising a sex website. I’ve never had any sort of sexual exposure before this or beyond that point – only this.

As I was browsing, I saw that anal itching was a symptom of an STD. My eyes widened because I had been experiencing this for a terribly long time. So what I did was stop my vigorous rubbing when cleaning myself, and start using more fluid because I never used baby wipes (disgusting, I know) ever since then, I never experience anal itching. I examined my whole body, my anus, and my penis and everything in the process and memorising every bump.


It's been a year now and nothing has changed. The only symptoms I have had persist is:

-Penis irritation in the shower (but I do rub my penis head a lot to clean any drips of water after I go to the toilet so that might be causing irritation) and no weird lesions or anything around it (or maybe the anal lesions was causing this?)

-Penis tingling ( I do think this is my anxiety because I can’t remember any tingling ever since I become anxious over this event)


I do remember a post of a man asking about risks associating to body rubbing around his buttocks region and that dr hook said you will anticipate the following symptoms: lesions, burning on urination, discharge.


I cannot remember any discharge as I try my best to remember and I would bet I’ve never had it (I’ve had so much anxiety that I thought something was exiting my penis this entire year it was never a discharge)

I’ve been living perfectly normally.

I can only remember burning on urination very OCCASIONLY and it wasn’t like painful as hell or anything (like just recently) but that was in the morning and I was severely dehydrated. I don’t drink a lot of water so I feel that links to it a lot (and I’ve been recently trying to prevent soap getting into my urethra)

The only things that do happen to my penis is irritation in the shower.


I’m very nervous about herpes especially because I do understand some people never have recurrences and some do.

I will add that I’ve been stressing about this for around a YEAR now. 2016 has also singlehandedly been the most STRESSFUL period of my LIFE because of other events and I understand stress is a big cause of HSV.


I can’t remember any symptoms or anything around my buttocks or penis especially, only pimples after shaving my around the pubic region and the occasional pimple around my buttocks and I can confidently say they are pimples because it’s big, red, hurts, and I sweat A LOT around my butt hence why I get those pimples ( I even get them just in the midst of my lower back and stuff). I can only remember pimples around my pubic region. I can’t remember any ‘lesions’ or anything around my penis or penis head (although, it could have occurred under my scortum and I may have not known it?


I also have shaven my penis regularly since 2010 – 2011 so surely, I must have noticed something odd or weird? I can’t remember any outbreak or anything.


My questions:


-Q1: Do I have to get tested for anything? This is the only act I’ve engaged in and I guess I may as well accept any consequences since I can’t do anything about it now (peace of mind is coming into play)


-Q2: Now after looking around on the medhelp forums, I have encountered answers saying this is very low risk and not worth worrying about. But I’m just so confused because sometimes, you will answer saying no risk then low risk. I understand that you can’t guarantee a diagnosis over the web but I’d just like an answer for practical purposes tailored to this specific question – based on this info I have added with no sexual history, was I at risK? I saw one popular post on medhelp where a person had unprotected penile vaginal frottage with dr hook saying it was practically ‘risk free’. But they are most likely both sexually active whereas, I’m not so can I assume the answer for all intents nad purposes?


-Q3: I just still can’t shake the fact that I might have been infected but not know it. I would bet on the fact that I can remember and nothing in my penis has changed for  a year. All those little Fordyce spots and stuff have stayed for a year, nothing has changed. But I read somewhere saying that most people remember an infection? However, how was I supposed to know if I was infected since it was rubbing around my anus? Especially if it was asymptomatic?


Q4: But because this rubbing on my buttocks specifically, how was I supposed to know I’d be infected since most people don’t know and some never have outbreaks? Again, 2016 the most stressful year. I feel that I must have had some sort out of outbreak.

At the end of the day, all I want to know is that if this is a concern, getting tested is going to be scary and I’d like some encouraging words (if you can) if I have to get tested. If not, please let me know.


I’m terrified as heck. Please help me anyway you can.


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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
87 months ago
Welcome to the forum. However, as clearly stated in the posting instructions and FAQs, questions have a limit of 1,500 characters (about 300 words). The website software prevents typing longer questions, but the limit can be bypassed by writing in another program (e.g. Word) then pasting it, which you apparently did; your question has over 5,000 characters and 1,200 words. The moderators can't be expected to read such long essays! I will respond after you condense your question to this limit and re-post it in a comment window below. (In 10+ years experience with online forums, I've never seen a question that could not easily be stated within this limit -- indeed, 1,000 characters (250 words) usually is plenty.)

Thanks for your understanding--  HHH, MD

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87 months ago

2009/2010: Was 13 and my friend was 15 (both males):
-Touching each other’s penis

-Our bodies touching each other

-Him rubbing his penis in between MY buttocks and quite possibly MY anus. Can’t remember pressure/timelimit (probably 10 mins) (I’m extremely anxious because I can’t remember all details)

-I tried rubbing my penis between his buttocks but I think it was really brief.

-This was done on 2 separate occasions although I would argue the first time was very brief.

-Would bet that he didn’t have lesions but can’t 100% remember

-We are also BOTH uncircumcised

-Partner info: Probably promiscuous


Only symptoms:

-Cant remember any discharge (except for thinking my penis did when it didn’t

-Burning on urination (almost never, only recently since I was dehydrated and it was morning)

-Can’t remember any lesions. Only 1 occasional pimple around buttock (I sweat a lot there

-Pimples after shaving around pubic region (I’ve looked at a lot of herpes/genital warts pictures, I don’t think it looks like that)


Other info:

Been stressing for the entire of 2015 – 2017 (most stressful year). Surely, HSV must have been caused by my stress?

I shave my penis regularly since 2010, surely I must have noticed something?

 Penis irritation in the shower (but I do rub my penis head a lot to clean any drips of water after I go to the toilet so that might be causing irritation) and no weird lesions or anything around it (or maybe the anal lesions was causing this?)

-Penis tingling (I do think this is my anxiety because I can’t remember any tingling ever since I become anxious over this event)



1.    Do I need testing yes/no (stressed)

2.    This was frottage on my penis/buttocks. So how was I supposed to know if I was infected

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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
87 months ago
Thanks very much for the compressed question. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to learn you have been so stressed by what sounds like a common and relatively innocent episode of teenage sexual experimentation. You are much more concenred about it than warranted by the scientific facts.

Your question implies you have the same inaccurate assumption of many people -- that STDs are simply genital infections, and therefore sexually transmitted. It's more complicated than that. The bacteria and viruses that cause STDs evolved to require sex itself for transmission, which just about always means insertion of a penis into someone's vagina, rectum, or mouth; or, less frequently, by cunnilingus (oral-vaginal contact). Simple physical contact with another person's genital or anal area, without penetration, is generally without risk. It isn't quite zero risk, but close to it.

As for your particular situation, the contact you describe for sure carried no risk for STDs transmitted by fluids, such as gonorrhea, chlamydia, HIV, or viral hepatitis. There might have been small risks for those transmitted skin-to-skin, like syphilis, herpes, or human papillomavirus (HPV). But these risks also were extremely low. In addition, of course there was no risk if your partner didn't have any of these infections -- and given his age of only 15, the chance he was infected was very low, even if he had several other sex partners in his young life.

Finally, as you suggest yourself, absence of symptoms that suggest STDs also is pretty good evidence you weren't infected. You are correct that urethral irritation can occur when showering, especially if soap gets into the opening; and penile "tingling" is never an STD symptom.

So do you need testing? From a medical or risk standpoint, you do not. However, you obviously are very anxious about these long-ago events, and many people in that situation are not completely reassured by the most scientific, reasoned, expert advice -- like I am giving you. In that case, you might be more reassured by being tested. If so, I would suggest you visit a clinic and have a urine test for gonorrhea and chlamydia (even though those infections never last more than a few months), and blood tests for syphilis and HIV. If you do it, you definitely can expect negative results. However, if I were in your situation -- or if I were advising someone personally close to me, such as my own son -- I would not recommend testing.

Finally, I have to wonder whether your anxiety about this is elevated because your partner was male. In fact, that makes little difference in STD risk. If you're anxious about implications of sex with another guy, I would point out that many young men have experiences like yours and are entirely heterosexual. By the same token, if in fact you are sexually attracted to men, that's also just fine. It's just the way some people are!

I hope this information has been helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear. Best wishes--  HHH, MD

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87 months ago

Hello Dr Hansfield,

I would like to make a quick apology about my long response. This was not intentional by any means, but my anxiety got the best of me and I felt the need to give as much info as I possibly could without reading FAQ.

Thank you so much for your concise reply, I am extremely happy with this response and I feel like I don’t think I need the reassurance of testing because I also understand the importance of science and also am pursuing a degree in Science as well!

I think that the reason why I’ve been so worried and don’t need the reassurance is because I of the conflicting information on the interweb.

I just have a couple of more follow up questions if that’s fine:

1.    We were both also circumsized (not the other way around). Does that make any difference?

2.    So I can just move on from this event? I mean, from 2015 – 2017 I I was so stressed because of other events. I’m sure it should have recurred at least ONCE + me shaving regularly. But I’m just scared it might recurred in the point of contact (my buttocks) and I may not have noticed it. The only thing I do remember (and I can confidently say) is singular pimples around my bum and sometimes lower back

3.    Expanding on question 2, even if it didn’t occur at the point of contact, there is a good chance of lesions occurring around my penis since the nerves are all connected?

Thank you so much!

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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
87 months ago
Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad to have helped.

1) Being circumcised lowers the risk of catching HIV (for hte circumcised man) by vaginal or anal sex. It has no effect on exposures like the ones you describe.

2,3) Yes, you can move on:  that was the whole point of my reply above. Having pimples on the skin does not raise the risk of catching HIV or other STDs. I don't understand what you mean about "nerves all connected" and how that could affect your risk.

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87 months ago
Ah basically I meant that if one were to be affected by HSV, it could recur anywhere around the boxer region because all the nerves are connected?

Thank you so much for your time Mr Hansfield and I hope you enjoy your new year!! You have been a great help
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H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
87 months ago
The initial HSV infection typically causes symptoms only at the site of inoculation, which usually is a site of maximum friction during sex, e.g. the penis, vaginal opening, etc. Recurrent genital herpes can occur anywhere in the "boxer shorts" distribution. In any case, there are significant differences between herpes lesions and typical pimples, and there is no realistic possibility your pimples were herpes.

Thanks again for the thanks. Happy new year to you as well.