[Question #1621] worried advice needed

80 months ago
on 4/3/16 I had a potential exposure ime in uk.I picked a woman up in a bar while intoxicated after a 20 year married breakdown I was very low.
 I had unprotected oral both ways,onprotected vaginal also unprotected anal prolonged oral & very brief intercourse very stupid behaviour I know.The woman the next morning told me in conversation she has never used protection & her husband left her a few years earlier because of her antics.
about 3 days later I woke up with a tempreture & sore throat,didnt think to much of it until night sweats chest rash upset stomache & feeling really unwell set alarm bells ringing.
I went to the gum clinic & got tested full std & hiv was told they was combos blood tests on 24 37 56 & 81 days all negative
but please hear me out ime still getting symptons full chest rash like measles with some dry patches,dry red blotches round my eyes & painfull glands this is 10 months after now.
The thing that's really really worrying me is I started having sex with my wife again after my last test, but at the start of November she was complaining of painfull swallowing & a sore mouth she got some kind of mouth infection the doctor gave her some oral gel but didn't clear it so she refefred her to the hospital still awaiting
appointment in the meantime she went to dentist who said it could be burning mouth syndrome,she also had impetigo on her face twice & numerous coldsores she has also had nightsweats feeling tired aches also skin rash,ime the only partner she had in 20 years, ime certain this is hiv & petrified I infected my wife even with negative tests ime thinking my body is responding slower or something ime just in need of some genuine expert opinion advice, many thanks in advance.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
80 months ago
 Welcome to our forum. I will be glad to comment.   I agree with your assessment that your casual partner was relatively high risk.   I can also assure you that you did not acquire HIV from the exposures you describe.  Your combined HIV Antigen/antibody tests taken at 37, 56, and 81 days easy prove that you were not infected.   Currently available tests for HIV or amongst the most reliable test in all of medicine and after three negative tests at times when results I did send a deal you should be completely confident that you were not infected.  While I cannot comment on the origin of your wife's symptoms, your tests prove that they are not due to an HIV infection you acquired at the exposure you describe, and then gave to her.

 It may be that you are being more observant than you had been in the past related to guilt about your casual encounter.  Alternatively this may be coincidence,

 I urge you to have confidence in your test results and move forward. There is no reason for further HIV testing related to the exposure you described. 

 I hope these comments are helpful to you. EWH
80 months ago
Thank you for your response dr hook
 I know from reading your responses to other posters on here also medhelp that you & dr handsfield have great confidence in 4th generation tests at 28  days & over but how would you know if 1 or 2 false negatives slipped the net only to go on after a couple of years without knowing they h ad the virus until they got ill or gave it to others,ime not trying to undermine your expertise or anything but ive read that in some rear cases the body can react much slower.
I really want to move on from this the thing that's not letting me is I had all the typical symptoms of ars at the timescale, I had to take a month off work which I haven't had a day off in 5 years never ever had symptoms like them with any bug or illness in my 45 years of life then my wife got ill a few months after sleeping with her again,ime still getting rashes on my chest also painful glands now 10 months on & thinking its got to be hiv never had this before,i moved on after my 81 day negative for a few months & was happy until skin rashes all over my chest kept coming back again turning up for a few weeks then would go then come back for no apparent reason ime sorry if I am rambling on but if I never had these symptoms I would of got tested & moved on without thinking about it again,,i know you say tests overrule every single time but I carnt get my head around these symptoms they are not anxiety driven they was & are real I had full bloods done at docs & my liver enzyimes were high also my wifes were to  my wife dosent drink alc but I do a little does this indicate anything?
How confident are you I haven't got hiv after reading above?
how confident can I be with 4th gen tests performed by nhs with slipping standards will labs still be vigilant?
if I had something wrong with my immune system would test still be accurate?
if I had prostate cancer would tests be accurate?
That will be all thanks doc kind regards you do a great job.
Edward W. Hook M.D.
80 months ago

I'm sorry you are continuing to worry so much about HIV.  You are not infected.  Indeed, there are no perfect tests and the research on these tests show that somewhat less than 1 in 1000 persons with HIV are missed by current 4th generation tests.  You however had not 1 but 3 negative tests at times when these tests provide reliable results.  If you were infected, the infection would not have been missed three times  You need to believe your test results. 

The tests would be accurate even if there was "something" wrong with your immune systems, as well as if you had prostate cancer. 

Your abnormal liver function tests are non-specific, as are your wife's.  They could have been caused by any number of non-STI community acquired viral infections. 

I do not doubt that your symptoms are real, but I also am confident that they were not due to HIV.  If you are recovering, you may never know what caused your illness.  Alternatively, if your symptoms continue, your focus on HIV (which has been effectively ruled out) may be interfering with finding out what is causing them. 

I hope these further comments will allow you to move forward from your unwarranted concerns that you acquired HIV from the sexual misstep you have described.  EWH

80 months ago
Thankyou for your prompt reply doctor
One more question if I may.
How confident can I be on a negative result if I test again now at 10 months to put closure on hiv for me still with symptoms?
I thank you for your help & prompt reply great service you provide wish you all the best,,please close after this question
Edward W. Hook M.D.
80 months ago

If you test again at 10 months and have not had additional potential exposures since the interaction you described in your initial post, your result will be the same as before, once again demonstrating that you did not catch HIV from that exposure.  There is no scientific or medical rationale for further testing however.  Remember Einstein's statement that one definition of insanity is to do the same thing again and again and to expect different results.

As this is my third reply to your questions, as described in the Introductory materials for our web site, this thread will be closed later today.  Please note as well that the forum does not permit repeated anxiety driven questions by the same users. This will have to be your last one; future new questions on this topic will be deleted without reply and without refund of your posting fee. This policy is based on compassion, not criticism, and is designed to reduce temptations to keep paying for questions with obvious answers; because experience shows that continued answers tends to simply prolong such anxieties, when the real answer normally should be professional counseling; and because such questions have little educational value for other users, one of the forum's main purposes. I trust you will understand.   EWH