[Question #2073] Herpes infection

48 months ago

Ms. Warren:  I greatly appreciate your responses and insight to my previous questions.  I understand that you believe it is better to bring this subject up with my partner.  However,  given chances of her being infected by one instance of unprotected sex about a year ago, and no signs of symptoms (and she is a nurse and very proactive about any health conditions) since then, to bring it up now would devastate our relationship to the point it would never be the same.  We will never have sex again, because she is not interested and won't initiate if I don't (and I won't now).  In fact, this is the reason I strayed in part.  Plus she is never going to infect anyone.  Of course, if she developed symptoms, I would confess.  But if she doesn't, there doesn't seem to be a huge medical risk by not telling her until then.

I know this is not the ideal solution, and perhaps you are skeptical of the claim of a sex-less marriage, but if she never has any symptoms, given the above history, there is a much more serious psychological downside to telling her now.

Your thoughts.

Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
48 months ago
So I think we are on different pages here - I didn't realize that you believed that you had contracted this from someone other than you wife.  I thought if you had had it for 45 years, surely there was a good chance she was already infected.  Now it makes quite a bit more sense to me. 
I am not skeptical of a sexless marriage  at all.  I hear it all the time!  I just didn't know all the circumstances.  Do I think she likely got infected with one intercourse?  Very very unlikely. 

Terri
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