Ms. Warren:  I greatly appreciate your responses and insight to my previous questions.  I understand that you believe it is better to bring this subject up with my partner.  However,  given chances of her being infected by one instance of unprotected sex about a year ago, and no signs of symptoms (and she is a nurse and very proactive about any health conditions) since then, to bring it up now would devastate our relationship to the point it would never be the same.  We will never have sex again, because she is not interested and won't initiate if I don't (and I won't now).  In fact, this is the reason I strayed in part.  Plus she is never going to infect anyone.  Of course, if she developed symptoms, I would confess.  But if she doesn't, there doesn't seem to be a huge medical risk by not telling her until then.

I know this is not the ideal solution, and perhaps you are skeptical of the claim of a sex-less marriage, but if she never has any symptoms, given the above history, there is a much more serious psychological downside to telling her now.

Your thoughts.