[Question #2101] Oral sex

48 months ago
Hello sir's I recently had a encounter I would like to hear your advice on. 

I'm a 35 year old  male and had a encounter with a friend. She is bi-sexual age 25. I am in a long term relationship and this is the first time I have branched out. Aside from guilt I have a pretty good handle on things.  

The events that took place was as followed. 

1. Deep kissing 
2. Digital sex to her ( fingering ) 
3. Brief oral sex to her. ( less then a minute )

I'm pretty sure none of these actions put me in much harm, but I would  love to hear your thoughts. I assume I'm safe from hiv as I have decent oral health and no cuts on my hands. Plus if the short duration of oral matters or not. Is there anything I should keep a look out for, she seems responsible as she asked if I had a condom and we didn't so it stopped at that point. I also have hsv2 and let he know prior with no outbreak . 

Thank you for your time and conciderstion. 

H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
48 months ago
Welcoem to the forum. Thank you for your question. And glad to hear you "have a pretty good handle on things". Even if you hadn't said it, that's what I would assume from the objectivity and overall tone of your question.

I agree you are safe in regard to HIV. There has never been a confirmed, scientifically documented transmission of HIV by kissing, fingering or other kinds of hand-genital contact, or cunnilingus (oral-vaginal contact). A few people have initially claimed such exposures as the source of infection, but in almost all cases there actually were other riskier exposures. And statistically it is very unlikely your partner had HIV. Bisexual and lesbian women do not have the elevated STD/HIV risk seen in men who have sex with men, and the overall frequency of HIV in women in the US remains very low.

As for other STDs, nobody can say the risk is zero, and in theory syphilis could be transmitted by kissing or cunnilingus, but syphilis is almost as rare as HIV in women like your partner. There could be a slight risk you caught oral herpes if your partner has genital herpes, but this also is very rare. (And having HSV2 makes you immune to a new infection with it.) THere is very slight risk of oral gonorrhea, but not chlamydia, which infrequently infects the oral cavity anyway. HPV conceivably could be transmitted by oral sex, but oral HPV is uncommon and the risk from any single oral sex exposure also is extremely low. Finally, as for HIV, all indications seem to be your partner is unlikely to have any active, transmissible STDs.

So the bottom line is that the risk is extremely low, if not quite zero, and I do not recommend testing for anything. If somehow I were in your circumstances, I would not be tested and would continue unprotected sex with my wife without worry of infecting her with anything from this event.

I hope this has been helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD
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48 months ago
Thank you for the reply.  I don't have much of a follow up as you pretty much answered everything I had. Only question I may have would be this. 

In terms of oral gonorrhea, is there anything inperticular I should keep a eye on? 

Other then that I say thank you for your time and hope the best to you for the upcoming summer. 
48 months ago
Update. 

I spoke with my friend. She told me she was recently ( a month or so ago ) checked and came out negative for all std's. She is very trust worthy so I will take her word. 

Thanks again Dr's for the help you all provide. 
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
48 months ago
Sorry for the delayed reply; I saw then forgot to reply to your first follow-up message. Apologies.

Glad to year you spoke with your friend. I think that settles things. For what it's worth, oral gonorrhea almost always is entirely asymptomatic, so there would have been nohting "to keep an eye on".

Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad to have helped. Take care and stay safe.

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