[Question #2193] Herpes and Frottage--Risk Assessment

45 months ago
Hello:

I have admired your work for a while on medhelp and westover clinic but have never actually posted a question. I am a 30 year old male and married to a woman. Recently, while away from home on business, I had a lapse in judgement and had a sexual experience with a man. Prior to this incident, I was negative for all STI's, including herpes. The incident consisted of the following:
(1) mutual masturbation where each of us jerked ourselves off and the other's equipment and went back and forth between the two using the same hand;
(2) he turned around and rubbed my penis on his buttocks; and,
(3) he briefly jerked my penis along his ass crack and my penis may have entered his butt cheeks. There was definitely no penetration (however I am not sure if I touched the outside of his anus) and he had no visible lesions (though obviously I didn't see his anus).
The entire encounter was under 10 minutes and largely consistented of the activities listed in (1) and (2) ((3) lasted for less than a minute because it mad me uncomfortable). I felt extremely guilty after the encounter and asked him about his status and he indicated that he is neg for all sti's and also married to a woman (for whatever that info is worth).

Could you please provide me with a risk assessment for herpes? I have read a number of posts on medhelp saying that ano genital contact without penetration is more of a theoretical risk but want to confirm that this was essentially a risk free encounter. 

Thanks in advance,
GuiltyHubby 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
45 months ago
The good news is that I don't think you have any risk here - and there is no bad news! 
You likely thought through your activities and chose those that were essentially risk free. 
If you have other questions, please let me know - I'll try my best to help

Terri
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45 months ago
Thank you for your prompt reply, Terri.  Could you please explain the following:
(1) why it wasn't a risk?
(2) clarify whether there was any risk from briefly masturbating against his butt crack/the outside of his anus? 
(3) if you were me, how long would you wait before resuming sexual activity with your partner? 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
45 months ago
It isn't a risk because there was no penetrative or oral sex of any kind - the kind of skin to skin contact that you had does not present a risk - the situation was not appropriate for transmission to occur.  You were essentially masturbating against thicker skin so unless he had a lesion present, which you didn't indicate that he did, the skin there is too thick to shed virus
I don't think you need to wait to have sex with your partner.
Now if there is something else here that you aren't describing correctly or don't know or didn't see, my response might be different but with what you have given me, my response stands. 

Terri
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45 months ago
The contact that concerns me most is the masturbating against the outside of his anus. He did not have any lesions present on his penis or his buttocks but I did not see his anus so I am not sure about whether there was a lesion present there or not (just his word that he is sti neg)...does that change your assessment? If so, how so? Is the skin outside of your anus also considered thicker skin? 
To paint the appropriate picture, my penis was being masterbated and my penis head and hand would sometimes hit either the sides of his buttocks or the outside of his anus. 
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
45 months ago
The anal skin is thinner but the skin outside is thicker, yes. 
If there was a lesion present in an area that you couldn't see, do you think you would have felt something rough or unusual with your hand?  I don't know how much contact there was between your hand and that area we are talking about.
It's quite a stretch to think there might be a lesion there, do you agree?  I guess I can't give you 100% reassurance if there was an area you didn't see but this all seems pretty unlikely to me.  How long ago was this contact and have you had any symptoms at all?

Terri
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45 months ago
The contact was approximately 24 hours ago. I didn't feel anything suspicious or unusual with my hand or my penis. There was not much contact between my hand or penis and his outer anus; it was not constant contact and more akin to stabbing than to rubbing and this all lasted for less than a minute. 
Does your assessment remain the same as you initially indicated or has it changed? 
45 months ago
[I realize that was my third follow up but I just want to make sure I am understand correctly since you asked me a couple of questions in your final response and there was some confusion re my initial post. My apologies.]
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
Terri Warren, RN, Nurse Practitioner
45 months ago
My opinion remains the same.  We can't offer you any promises, but my best professional opinion, given everything you've said, is that you did not contract herpes in this way

Terri
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