[Question #2236] Gave unprotected bj

44 months ago
3 weeks ago I gave unprotected bj I'm 25 m him 37 m got cum in my mouth spit out gums weren't bleeding do have cavities mouthwashes after partner said was clean didn't want to give anything to wife since contacted him said he never had any sores or anything on penis i researched a lot and did a lot of calculations, no signs of std from him rule out gonnorhea,hsv, syphillis, now main concern is hiv, i know the risk is 1 in 10000 if the partner is infected and less than 1% of the population in my state has it  so that further makes it unlikely that I got it since I've had ear aches and devolvoping a cough and have loose stools I can attribute a lot to anxiety I have a therapist no fever no sore throat nothing besides what I just said in your expert opinion would you recommend testing or tell me to move on with my life I have gf and since have had unprotected sex because i realize the risk is so low and if I had an std in my mouth I can only spread it orally and that is rare in its self please help me with reassurance if an expert tells me to move on I can move on much easier I think eventually I will get test but don't want to rush to get it because of the low risk and in the past I've had a lot more riskier scenarios that never bothered me main concerns are hiv and syphillis but in my county .3 in 100000 have syphillis so I put that aside and 40000 people in nj live with hiv and even with dividing the population in half 4000000 that is only a one percent chance and that is being conservative please help me move on with my life between you and my therapist that would be of extreme help to me 
44 months ago
It says this was updated 13 minutes ago but I don't see an answer not sure if I'm getting it or not?
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
44 months ago
Welcome to the forum. Thanks for your question. Thanks also for extensively researching your own question:  you've pretty well outlined all the reasons there is little to worry about from this exposure.

I think you're male, right? You nsever say. Apparently your partner is male -- if you both are, then he obvioiusly is a man who has sex with men; with an overall prevalence of 1% HIV in your state, the chance any particular MSM has HIV obviously is higher. Rather than just guessing, I would suggest you ask him if he knows his HIV status. But still, even if infected, you are correct that your risk from this event was on the order of one chance in 10,000. You're symptoms don't concern me -- they are not typical for a new HIV infection or any other STD.

Syphilis also is very low risk -- and since 3 weeks have passed, if you had acquired it, you probably would have already developed a chancre (syphilitic ulcer) of your mouth. So that's fairly reassuring, although not perfect. Herpes is theoretically possible but, like syphilis, likely would have caused symptoms by now. Gonorrhea of the throat is possible and low risk, but usually causes no symptoms -- it is probably he single most likely STD outcome from this event, although still not very likely.

I'm not sure I understand your reticence to be tested. Seems to me it's in your interest to have a throat swab for gonorrhea (valid at any time) and blood tests for HIV and  syphilis in 3 weeks, i.e. 6 weeks after the exposure. Even though the risk is very low, it's obviously on your mind, and my guess is that negative testing would help you stop worrying about it. Perhaps something to discuss with your therapist.

I hope these comments are helpful. Let me know if anything isn't clear.

HHH, MD

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44 months ago
I am make Well dr I did just notice on the under side of my tongue I have what appears to be a popped blood vessel but doesn't really seem like anything out of the ordinary would that be something that should concern me and as I stated I did not notice any sores on his penis or else I wouldn't of did it also in the extremely rare case this was syphillis the only I could spread it is by performing oral on gf or could it be spread by kissing also?
44 months ago
I will say it looks nothing like any of the pictures of syphillis sores that I see 
44 months ago
Sorry if this is excessive posting but I've noticed that it is just part of my tongue and just a skin flap 
44 months ago
The frenulum to be exact
44 months ago
(Fimbria is Latin for fringe). Some people, have small (<1 cm) horn-like triangular flaps of "skin" (mucosa) undertheir tongue. They are on each side of the frenulum (the piece of tissue connecting the bottom of the tongue to the inside of the mouth) under the tongue and run parallel next to the twodistinct veins.   This is what I was referring too and is perfectly normal this is why I need a doctors advice
Sometimes sorry again
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
44 months ago
This doesn't sound at all like syphilis. However, both these continuing questions and their tone suggests you are rather obsessed with all this, which is why I recommend you be tested, as I suggested in my initial reply above.

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44 months ago
I just want to reiterate what I thought was a sore was just actually a flap of skin under my tongue that's a normal part of the snoring of one that's why I put the definition up there I am obsessing over this but it took a huge weight off of my chEst hearing from a renowned expert instead of me researching myself based on the evidence I did research and from your medical standpoint that it was low to no risk for hiv pretty low risk all together from say a therapist perspective I get tested just to ease my nerves and don't expect to find anything on the test if I wasn't obessing over it there would not need to be a need for testing however due to my past it's still wise to be tested so based off of everything I can be sure it was low risk and my mind is just going places which isn't a problem for you it's a problem for my therapist I do want to thank you for reassuring me and my mind is a little more at ease now thank you doctor
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
H. Hunter Handsfield, MD
44 months ago
Thanks for the thanks. I'm glad to have helped.

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